I just don't know anymore

[chrissy1]

I have been reading many threads, which makes me feel not so alone. I've had depression for 30 yrs. the last 5yrs have been chronic, that's why I'm in a nursing home.( no where else to go) I could not look after myself anymore. I have lost (commission unit)my unit my car and my baby dog. After many shock treatments, I am on medication which is keeping stable. I just don't have a life anymore. So alone. (Have lost my friends as I was out of action. I'm sure u guys can relate. I struggle with society that they just don't get it, what do we have to do to let them know this is REAL.( as if one could pretend with this illness) I don't think so!!! I really don't have a life

anymore. Being in a nursing home does not help cause when I leave my room I see so many older people around. It does not help my depression at all. That's all for now.thank you for ur time, looking forward to some replies.

my thread name is chrissy1 which some of you may have seen.

chrissy1

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy

Im so very sorry.

Im at work atm.

Rrally haven' been in a good mind.

WI'll msg around 5ish if ok

I' really sorry.

Kkndness only

Grandy

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy,

Im really sorry I worried you,

I have gone right down in depression, which happens, I should have messaged you, I feel bad about that.

Love the daring blue colour, way to go. I bet they look elegant.

I am really pleased you beautiful daughter is smiling and happy now.. it will take a while for her but I think by what you said better for her.

I agree, as we get older we need our grandkids, I miss them a lot, but nothing I can do about it,

How are you doing? I hope you are ok. And please forgive my late msg,

kind thoughts always,

Grandy

[chrissy1]

Hi Ggrand,

great to hear from you, just as long u are okay. I know what u mean about trying on the net. I did not know u worked, that's fantastic, I do hope u can hang in there, but don't be too hard on urself. I had a volunteer here today, that was good. We got on well. Hopefully coming back next week. I had abit of an off day today. It happens. Sorry don't know what else to talk about. Looks like it's heating up again.

take care x

chrissy1

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy,

Sorry it's been a while, still struggling a little but getting there I hope.

I do volunteer work at my local Vinnies store, one day a week, it's ok but I'm not good with people anxiety rules me.

Thats so good that you have a volunteer worker that you can talk to, it gives you an outlet.

Im sorry you had an off day the other day,mI hope you are doing better now,

Yes its hot where I am, over 40 now for 3 days, last night we had some thunder then the rain fell really big drops, I thought whoopie rain, we haven't had rain here for over 8 months. The people living over the railway line are all completely of the grid, (no electricity or piped water). they have been buying water for there household and personal use as there tanks are dry, well the rain only lasted a few minutes and the earth dried up immediately. We so much need rain out in the rural areas.

When you feel off are you depressed off or sad off or both together, When this happens Try to divert your thoughts by doing something that's mindful, it can be anything really, just something to change your thoughts.

Do you have a garden there that you can sit out In?

Sending you my care,

Kindness only,

Grandy.

[chrissy1]

Hi there,

i have seen u n other threads, what does Ggrand stand For? I have seen ur name as Karen. Is it okay I call u Karen. Yeah when I say I am off today its depression. I was in bed all day today, nothing to get up for, I've had enough if u know what I mean. My daughter Rachel is back from her holiday and look forward to catching up, I missed her heaps.

supposed to have a cool change tonight, which is good. How is the water where u are? That must be so hard. I'm on the3rd floor, have a great view. There is a court yard down stairs, and a smoking area. This place holds 250 people.its pretty big. Which day do u do vinnies. I used to do 2x4days a week, that was really good. That's all for now do take care.

chrissy1

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy,

I really don't know what it means, when I joined BB they gave me that name. Maybe I will change it later to Grandy, You may call me Karen, that's my correct name. I usually answer to who I'm addressed as.

Yes I know what you mean I spent 2 days in bed this week, when it hits hard bed is my friend.

Im pleased your daughter Rachel will be visiting you again soon, more outings, shopping etc. Its nice spending time with family, I miss that, but I'm ok.

Sounds like a huge nursing home, and 3rd floor that's good you have a nice view, Has the courtyard got flowers and are the residents allowed to care for them. I like flowers.

I work Tuesdays at Vinnies, I enjoy it somedays and somedays it's hard, it depends on how high my anxiety gets.

I hope you have a peaceful sleep, will speak again tomorrow if your up to it.

kind thoughts only.

Karen.

[chrissy1]

Hi Karen how are u going great to hear from u. I feel we really do have a lot in common. I can relate to how u feel. It's horrid. I really look forward to ur posts, as I only have Rachel in my life, at times I feel like burden I think I have all my life, well most of it. It's so good u do vinnies. I must try and meet more people. I think I will try the cafe site. Do u have any suggestions?

Take care x

chrissy1

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy,

Im doing ok, thank you for asking,

The BB Cafe is good to meet people, its light and fun talking, no heavy stuff, Your welcome to read all the threads around BB forums and if you feel you can help someone or just want to say hello, or you might relate to someone, just pop in and post something to them.

I will be back later this afternoon, but I thought I would just write a quick message to let you know you are most welcome to post anywhere.

Kindness Only

Karen.

[chrissy1]

Hi Karen

whats the latest? I feel crap, I really am over it, I'm so lost there's nothing out there any more. I don't know if I can do this anymore, what on earth for?????

i do hope u are much better

take care x

chrissy1

[chrissy1]

Hi Karen

thank you for ur reply. I did send a thread but I was not in a good state, I don't think it got passed, I'm not sure.

read ur threads on grounding,very interesting but at present, struggle with anything. I know I do do some not in a good space.

take care x

chrissy1