I just don't know anymore

[chrissy1]

I have been reading many threads, which makes me feel not so alone. I've had depression for 30 yrs. the last 5yrs have been chronic, that's why I'm in a nursing home.( no where else to go) I could not look after myself anymore. I have lost (commission unit)my unit my car and my baby dog. After many shock treatments, I am on medication which is keeping stable. I just don't have a life anymore. So alone. (Have lost my friends as I was out of action. I'm sure u guys can relate. I struggle with society that they just don't get it, what do we have to do to let them know this is REAL.( as if one could pretend with this illness) I don't think so!!! I really don't have a life

anymore. Being in a nursing home does not help cause when I leave my room I see so many older people around. It does not help my depression at all. That's all for now.thank you for ur time, looking forward to some replies.

my thread name is chrissy1 which some of you may have seen.

chrissy1

[chrissy1]

Hi there. Quirky and grand

So glad to hear from you both that's so great. This is my third post to you, the Internet keeps shutting down my posts, so frustrating . I have to really force my self to go to shops, it's so hard. What are ur days like? I live in Melbourne. Just struggling abit to write. Also my memory is not so good due to ECT. I will do my best. It's 42 today too hot. I don't like the heat. I'm lucky I have my own air conditioning which is great, also heating in the winter. That's all for now

Take care
chrissy1

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy.,

I sent a reply a few hours ago and it hasn't come through as yet. If it's not here in a couple of more hours I will write a different one, because I don't remember everything I said on the other reply.

kind thoughts,

Grandy.

[chrissy1]

Hi there. Quirky and grand

So glad to hear from you both that's so great. This is my third post to you, the Internet keeps shutting down my posts, so frustrating . I have to really force my self to go to shops, it's so hard. What are ur days like? I live in Melbourne. Just struggling abit to write. Also my memory is not so good due to ECT. I will do my best. It's 42 today too hot. I don't like the heat. I'm lucky I have my own air conditioning which is great, also heating in the winter. That's all for now

Take care
chrissy1

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy,

I can relate to your internet problems vey well, I had the same trouble at one time a couple of years back, I ended up changing providers and it's not as bad now, it's because of my location.

i was just wondering,when you go to the shops, do you take public transport or does the nursing home provide there own bus for the residents.?

I'm like I don't like the heat, I'm so pleased you have an air conditioner in your room to help cool things down for you, I have one in my loungeroom.

Take your time in answering, I'm not going any where, I'm a little slow atm for replies but I'm getting there, I'm trying to find something to do through the days, but unsure where my interests lay. do you do anything through your day like hobbies.

You said earlier on that your daughter comes to see you once or twice a week, that is so nice, I hope this week when she comes you both have a wonderful time.

Take care of yourself,

Kind thoughts,

Grandy.

[chrissy1]

Hi grand,
The shops are 5min walk away, but I still struggle. It's ridiculous. I found u on thread ( sad and lonely ) and got to know u better. I'm so sorry you are or was in that place I do know what u mean. It's so horrible.
My daughter has not been to see much as kids on holidays. I'm gong to the shops on Wednesday to get my nails done, I go once a month. Would love to be ur pen pal if ur up to it. I'll try again?
Take care x
chrissy1

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy,

I did reply earlier but it seems to have gone into the computer world, lost forever,

How have you been feeling these last few days, School holidays would make it busy for your daughter, how many grandchildren do you have? If that's ok, only if you want to tell me,

Sometimes it would be hard to go to the shops even if it is only 5 minutes away, especially in this heat, that's no nice your getting your nails done, I got mine done a few times but I couldn't get used to them,

Sadness with depression/anxiety is hard to manage, especially with loneliness, I hope I can add a little light into your life so you are less lonely, you are such a gentle person, I'm just curious are you or have you had counciling before for your depression.

When is your daughter coming to take you shopping next, I can imagine how excited you would be to see her again.

Good night my special lady, I hope you sleep well, I will be here for a while yet if you post back, I should see it.

Kindness only,

Grandy.

[chrissy1]

Hi there,

got ur post,so nice to hear from u,

my grandkids are boy "Alexi, 14yrs old and girl "Sian 11. Because of this illness I'm not so close. My then son in law did not understand, so I was put on the outer by him. That hurt as I was unable to be a normal grandmother eg. Could not look after them in his eyes. How are u at present? What have u been up too? The nursing home have updated wi fi so I'm hoping all will be okay now, fingers crossed.

take care x

chrissy1

,

[Ggrand]

Hello Chrissy,

Its good to hear from you as well, and good the wi fi has been fixed.

I have 13 grandchildren, but sadly I only see one regularly my grandson 9 yrs old, I have 3 sons, but only the youngest comes to visit every three months or so. I live 7-8 hours drive from my 3 sons. The other 2 are so caught up in their lives that they forget they have a mum I think.

That was not a nice thing at all what your then son in law done. Some people just don't understand MH struggles I think because they don't understand that they underestimate our abilities and worth. I'm really sorry about what he done.

How did you go on Wednesday, did you get your nails done,? What colour did you select?

Im so pleased about today's cooler weather. Makes easier sleeping.

Take care , kind thoughts for you,

Grandy.

[chrissy1]

Hi there
wow 13grandchildren, it's sad u don't see the family much.
i think this is the Is the time we need them more. My nails are blue, I'm abit daring,why not. U were right about my son in law,thinking I'm hopeless, no idea, and didn't want to know either. My daughter has separated from him. It's about six month now, I know she will be better off in the long run. I never used to see her smile. She only stayed with him because of the kids. I just want to see her actually smiling,, she so deserves to be happy. it's a lot cooler for now it's great. What does ur day consist of?
take care x
chrissy1

[chrissy1]

Hi there,

i do hope ur ok.please let me know.

take care x

chrissy1