Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda,Lee, and all....

Thank you for saying I’m brave, would be different if you could see me...I’ve been laying awake since 3.30..trying to go back to sleep...but it’s not going to happen...😁...The night can be very long...Ebony and Kya are sound asleep, Kya oh boy, she snores so loud has done since she was a puppy...between her snoring the rooster cock-a-doodle-do , and my thoughts, sleep won’t be until tonight..I really wanted to present well today, well...looking at least rested, but it doesn’t look like that will happen, dark under eyes is hereditary to me, people see them and think oh she hasn’t slept for nights, it only takes a night of not much sleep, for the darkness under my eyes to be very noticeable...a good sleep usually not so noticeable.... a shower hopefully will help...

Ive packed, sorted my furs babies out but not happpy or confident I done right by them....

Not sure what to say, my minds to much to busy to be able to think properly, but I just wanted to call in and wish everyone reading this a very beautiful day..and to take care of yourselves the best you can... I’ll be back later on....You all matter so very much...

Love and hugs...💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

Wish I was there to drive you there today.

Be kind and patient with yourself. So proud of you beautiful lady. Kya Ebony will be ok. You're doing right for them by doing what is needed for you. Hope that makes sense.

Sending you lots of love beautiful ❤❤🤗🤗👼👼

Lee

[startingnew]

big big hugs Grandy

Please allow them to help you and to look after you despite how scary this all is. You will be ok, we are all here for you too

❤💛💜💜💜💚🌼🌻🦋🦋

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful lady 🤗

As always you're in my thoughts with deep love and care.

Be as gentle and kind with yourself as you are to everyone here darling and you cant go wrong.

You'll be safe and looked after.

Love you so much Grandy ☺

🌜💑🤗💜🤝💼💗🦄👀👼🕊🌛

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda, Lee, Peppy, Starts and all...

I got here at 11 and finally got into my room at nearly 3.30pm....I have my own room....

I saw a different psychiatrist today...to much 😢😭😭..all day....to many questions....Really I just want to be home..I don’t want to be here...

When I found out my psychiatrist doesn’t actually work or council here, I wanted to get my bags so I could go home...Then I saw a new psychiatrist, too many questions, too many 😭..group therapy twice a day...morning and afternoon plus psychiatrist every 2 days.....This is only half a day and I’m an emotional mess......I’ve been given a sleeper..so hope it works soon....

Please look after yourselves..I hope you all sleep well and dream nice dreams...

Cant talk much atm,,,too emotional...

Deebi love goes deeply...💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤗🦄...

Big love and hugs to all....💜💜🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..

[Ggrand]

Dear Peppy,

Im sorry I didn’t say...Love the 🍀 4 leaf clover broach...I will wear it always each day while I’m in here...The colouring in books and coloured pencils..thank you so very much....love them all...

Thank you dear gentle Peppy....I’m sending you some Love and hugs ...💜💜🤗🤗..Thank you for being the wonderful gentle person you are..

Grandy..

[Guest8901]

Dear Grandy,

Its so good to hear from you ... I was worried when we hadnt heard. Delays .... argh.

Only brief for now, as I need to go out for an appt for hubby now. But I wanted you to know I'd read your update from last night. I will get back to you later when I can.

For now ... I'm sorry you are needing to deal with so many new and challenging things. But it certainly sounds as though they are taking good care of you Grandy. And the fact that you have a room to yourself ... great, thats one less challenge for you to have to overcome.

Stick with it Grandy, I know you can do this. I have every confidence in you. You had a sleeper last night, I hope you slept well as a result.

Later ..... meanwhile lots of love, healing thoughts, and a great big hug from me.

Waves to everyone else here too .... Deebi, Lee, Pepper, SN.

Amanda 🤗💜💕

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin 🤗

SO glad you got there safely oh nice one having your own room that'd be easier, glad for you sweetheart

Been wondering how you're going you're always in my thoughts 💜 ahh darlin it's hard isn't it 🤗 gently tapping and rubbing your back. Sweets picture all your friends here sitting in your room 🤝💜🤗 filling it and you with love and security. Love you Grandy, you're going to be ok honey 😚🌱

I'm glad you had a sleeper that'll help you settle in more I hope getting some much needed rest. Hopefully you're feeling a bit more energized beautiful friend ☺

I wasn't going to but am going to lunch with a very loved friend, other one maybe later in week so I'll choof for now sweety.

Thanks so much for your lovely posts at mine and here.

Deep love hun always

🌜 💑💜👯‍♀️🕊🌱👼💗🌛

[Lee lee 73]

Hello beautiful Grandy,

Thank you so so much for posting and letting us know you got there. I'm pleased to have read you have your own room.

I'm so sorry it's really hard and you want to go home. Almost always, a healing process gets worse before it gets better but honey, the keyword is healing. And, for once in your life, it's a 'good' bad. I know it's easy for me to say because you're there and I'm not. It's understandable your scared - I would be too. Its understandable you want to go home. Focus on one goal you want to acheive for the future - whether it be to walk on a beach or drive to see your grandchildren - focus on that one thing and use that to get you through. God Grandy, you are courageous for getting yourself there in the first place - so brave beautiful. I know you know you're doing the right thing by being there.

Try not to let fear deprive you of what you need and deserve. ❤

I only say these words because I have love and care for you, so so much beautiful friend. You got this gorgeous Grandy. Gees, I wish I could visit you every day - for real. I'm holding your hand and not letting go... I truly hope my words haven't upset you Grandy. I just want you to have a better quality of life, to better manage mh and to be happy.

Sending so much love - more than ever before ❤❤💓💓❤❤

We're with you beautiful Grandy.

Lee

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda, Lee, Peppy and all,

Im doing okay, so please don’t worry, I’m still doing the Mindspot course as well..so I’m trying to double my help...get as much as I can.. not sure they know here, that I’m doing the course but I have enough free time through the day to get it completed on time.....Shhhhh.shhh I won’t tell if you don’t...

The psychiatrist I seen the first day...tomorrow is another session with him....plus two group therapy classes...I’m naughty I avoided them today.....I am no good in groups, especially when everyone is a stranger.....I’ll try to go tomorrow....

My honeymoon period ends tomorrow....Tomorrow starts the hards.....

The sleeper worked so well...I hope they give me again tonight....

Love you all...sending love and hugs💜💜🤗🤗..dear friends...

Deebi so much love you..💜💜🛵🚜🚑...I pinched an ambulance for our vrroommm collection..😁..

The nurses are very kind...and are just really beautiful people...I am being looked after a lot which is making me feel really guilty...I don’t like being fussed over..I like doing the fussing....🤗💜..

love 💜and hugs 🤗 everyone...please take care of you all very very ..gently...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..