Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hi our beautiful so so glad hearing the nurses are lovely and looking after you even if it is hard to be looked after sweety you deserve a lot of tlc 🤗💗

So you did a sneaky eh, you're cute but that won't help you honey, I do know how hard it is being around people lovey at least in this situation you all have a basic understanding of why you're all there so it may make it a little easier.

Good on you doing mindspot at the same time you little trouper ☺

Great hearing the sleeper helped hun, makes a huge difference with enough sleep.

Sounds like you're doing well so far lovey, be good to yourself beautiful lady. Thank you for your beautiful company at mine and caring, I love reading your posts. I'll get back to you tomoz darling 😙💗

Always thoughts with love and appreciation for such a beautiful soul.

Good to have additions to our vroom collection 🚜

🌜💑💜💗🌱🕊🌛

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

i am so relieved that you have arrived safe and sound. I know you must be daunted but it doesn’t sound too terrible and if the nurses are nice then the programs and environment should be ok.

perhaps you should be open about doing the mindspot course. I don’t think it is good to withhold treatment that you are trying.

I know you don’t like groups but would encourage you to take part in all the programs to get the best outcomes for you.

Are the surroundings nice? Can you make tea and coffee etc when you feel like it?

Let the nurses fuss over you, remember I am a nurse and giving good patient care is their priority.

Take care and try to do the things you can in this time, if there is something you are really uncomfortable with then try to speak up

Tess

[Lee lee 73]

Hello gorgeous Grandy,

Just popping in to wish you a good night. I'm hoping you were offered a sleeper again tonight. Dream beautiful dreams. 😍😍

Love always ❤❤

Lee

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (and a wave to all),

I’m so relieved that you’re, for the most part, settling in nicely. The nurses sound lovely, and I’m very pleased that they are taking good care of you 🙂

Despite what you may believe, you absolutely do deserve to be in this space of safety and nurturing. Maybe just give yourself permission to receive help and care...you’ve been caring for others ever since you can remember, so please let someone else take care of you for a change 😉

Also, I’m glad you like the gold broach and colouring books. You’re in our thoughts, dear Grandy...

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[Guest8901]

Hello dear Grandy

I'm so pleased to hear that you are doing okay. Although I would agree with Lee that it may be advisable to let your psych there know that you are doing the Mindspot course as well. I think its highly commendable of you to want to do it all, and certainly an indication of how much you want to do the right thing and to get well. I also realise that the MindSpot course will continue after your stint in the hospital is completed. So for continuity purposes, the hospital people may well fully approve. I just think its best that they are aware?

Grandy it sounds like you are doing quite well, all things considered. Very proud of you to say the least. I understand your reluctance to attend the group sessions, but maybe as you get to know some of the other people there, it may become easier for you. Also I feel sure that you will not be pushed into saying or doing anything you're not ready for. So even if its just sitting through the sessions and not actively participating, could prove beneficial to you. Learning about others issues and how they deal with them, can be helpful. Its a bit like being here on the forums I guess.

Did you get another sleeper last night to help you get some decent sleep again? I do hope so, because to start the day with a bit of sleep under your belt, has to be preferable. Nurses are a special breed arent they Grandy? You only have to look at our own beautiful Deebi and Tess, both former nurses. Of course they are kind and looking after you very well. Besides it being their job, its also a vocation they entered because they care for people and have a built in empathy for others. So let them do what they do so well ... let them fuss over you.

Plainly there is no problem with you having access to your phone or iPod, which is allowing you to maintain contact with us all here. I'm relieved about that. Keep up the good work Grandy. Love 💜and hugs 🤗 returned.

Amanda 💕

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful/s 🤗

Just waiting quietly (cough as if ) in your room for when you get back to👂🏻and give you a lovely relaxing 👯‍♀️and big comforting 🤗.

You're in my thoughts so often sweety, I know today you saids a harder day. Got you a nice Frappe, a 🍫 and a freshly baked (went into your 💼 and did it) cinnamon cake just because I love you so much.

Cry on my shoulder honey if you want to talk you're welcome to if not I'll just 🤝 🤗 and be here for you 🍃

Pubok dear 🦄 friend 🌱 (glad you like that ☺) new beginnings

🌜👼💑💜✨🚜🍫🎄🤝🌛

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda,Peppy, Lee, Tess and all...

Quickly Deebi, hide under my bed until tonight, then we can sneak out and check out the stars .....what do you say..

Im doing okay..was hard today, so many tears😢....I have seen 3 different psychiatrist since Ive been here...Trying to be strong......but today is not a good day for me..😢.......I’ve /we have just ....gotta keep trying...😓..


Every hour the nurses come and do a check in. There’s about 3 nurses all doing check ins which is making me so jumpy, I’m always expecting a knock on the door.....and sure enough..there it is....I know they are only doing their Job, and believe me, they are doing a top Job at door knocking, 🚪...and checking in...I could only imagine involuntary...would be worse, I guess.......

Theres a daily walk,I still haven’t been on...the group sessions, still not...one problem is everyday, a couple people going home then new people coming in..Strangers everyday...I have been not eating breakfast or lunch.it’s make yourself for half hour.I just can’t seem to be able to do that with people around at the dinning table freely...Dinner is a must do.....It’s cooked here by nurses and even some patients help...and we all have to eat that meal together..... I don’t expect you to understand my anxiety here...but it’s so hard..I’m trying really hard...I will get there...I can only try my best.....


Oh Deebi...I need an out..this hospital is in the town city....it’s okay but not much greenery...just railways tracks, houses, roofs, and noise, constant generator or some kind of noise....smells of tar from the railway tracks...missing my quiet home, and birds..no birds here...sad...hmmm...plenty of flys, 🐜 imagine wings on it..😁..and wasps, no butterflies or birds...just cars, trucks, trains...concrete jungle....


I hope your all doing okay....


Deebi. Love you deeply. hun...
Love and hugs..💜🤗🤗..


👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄💜👼..

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone,

I just read on another thread....Im so very sorry if I have I might have upset someone very dear to me here...Sometimes I forget to put all the names down when I post a reply, I know I should edit, but sometimes, mostly I don’t....that’s why I put everyone at the end of my hello..Im truely sorry...I always read each post and am very grateful for them all and try so very hard to include in my reply a bit of each post written to me.........Please I am sorry.......I know how it hurts to feel ignored, I would never ever do that intentionally..my bad for leaving names out.....I’m really sorry.....all try to put all names down from now on....

Love and hugs Grandy.....

[demonblaster]

Running towards you arms wide open screaming Grandyyyyy ... SO good seeing you 🤗

Sshhh just slid under your bed we have to pwetend Im not there 😅 when the nurses 🚪knock. We'll find a 🎇 darlin ... I bought our 🔭 hubble telescope in your 💼.

Sorry darlin you're doing it so hard and a lot of people and psychs it'd be so hard on you I know. Sweety I'm worried that you're not eating breaky or lunch, could you ask a nurse if you could eat in your room and tell them why darling, they'd be compassionate and caring. You need the energy sweetheart.

haha love your flies... lol just add wings 😅 you're so cute 🤗

Darlin this time will be up before you know it then you'll be back in your nice comfortable surroundings back home. Wish I could hug and 🤝 for real but know I'm always 👀 out for you dear friend.

Be as gentle as you can with yourself hun I know its horrid 😢 heaps but it's pain and toxins being released from your body so that's an out for it which it needs.

Sweety I forgot to say the other day how much I loved our Tia and Kahlua in our trifle you did a bang on job.

Oh Oh 😂 Did you get the 🍫 I stashed in your pillow. I'm polishing your magnet too...wow ...it's really powerful now 😲 mmmm ... Peps is suss but hasn't cracked it yet.

Love you so much little Angel, thoughts care and eternal friendship precious friend

You're going to get through this honey and a better life to come that you so deserve

🌜💑🕊💼🔭🍫⚘👀👼🌱🎇🌛

[Guest8901]

Good morning dear Grandy

Always so nice hearing from you, even though it appears we are needing to await your posts arrival at times. 😊 But your posts are always worth the wait, so please dont allow that to get you down.

Yes I guess that is the unavoidable thing with any hospital environment - there's always someone around. But this is worth putting up with if we can see the end result of improved mental health. And Grandy, I can see that for you. I have every faith in you, and hope for you, for a more settled and happier life. This stay is incredibly difficult for you, but it will benefit you no end.

The area you described around the hospital there doesnt sound all that calm or restful, I must say. Nothing like the lovely quiet natural area you have around your home. But there again, with so much happening there at the hospital, you'd not have much time to be admiring the view anyway.

I had not realised that the hospital you're in was the same hospital your hubby was taken to. It holds so many bad memories for you doesnt it? That would be hard I know. But as you are in a different area now to where he was, hopefully its less triggering for you than it could have been. It wouldnt hurt to mention this to your MH team, if you havent already done so.

Grandy, everyone knows that it simply is not in you to intentionally hurt anyone, not here and not in real life. I too know its hard to catch up with everyone if we are feeling really down and havent posted in a while. We do have limits too on posting consecutive posts, so sometimes its not even possible to reply to everyone in one post. It can get a little overwhelming at times, and I know I stress out if I cannot respond as I'd like, to everyone. Sometimes too when a thread goes onto another page, its easy to miss some posts from the previous page. A bit of a trap for me I know. But Grandy wee can only do the best we can .. and you do beautifully. Though I suspect you will feel bad about it anyway, I would encourage you to try not to concern yourself about this. Please try to concentrate on your own wellbeing and recovery for now. We all want you to get the most out of this hospital stay, this great opportunity to get yourself well. For you to get well, will benefit and make all of us here very happy indeed.

Love and hugs to you

Amanda 💕