My brother

[Slrau]

6 weeks ago my life was turned upside down when my little brother took his own life. It came as a huge shock to me as there was no sign that he was suicidal at all. He was my only brother and just being the two of us, we were very close, I don't understand how I never picked something was up. He tried to call me the night he ended it all at midnight but I didn't answer his call, I will never forgive myself! He had rang me often in the middle of the night just to wake me up, he thought it was funny. I assumed this was another one of those calls and thought I'd just speak to him in the morning. I will never speak to him again. 

I have 3 children, the youngest just 12 weeks old, whom he adored and they loved there uncle dearly. He was only 28. He was handsome, had a good job, no debts, great friends and had just started seeing a girl he seemed really keen on. I don't understand. 

Some of his friends have since come forward and said they think he suffered from anxiety and looking back on things he hadn't been himself for a little while, maybe he had a bit of depression. He was just so good at hiding it because like I said, I had no idea that things were this bad! 

I guess I'm just writing this to hear from anyone who has been in a similar position. I am devastated.

[geoff]

dear Slrau, I would like to welcome you to this site, but I only wish that it was under much better circumstances.

Oh god, the devastation for you, your children, his friends and all those that knew him must have been a total shock for you all, and my deepest sympathies to you all.

The loss that has now happened will never leave your thoughts, but I hope that these thoughts of him are only of him in happier times, and the love that he showed for your children.

For those of us who are still suffering from depression or those of us who have now overcome this terrible illness have the ability to cover any signs of any depression that we have, and we can do this by putting on a face that pretends to show that nothing is wrong with us.

This period for yourself as well as your children is going to be difficult time ahead for you all, and being your only brother you have to look after yourself, and by doing this means that you should go and see your doctor, and he/she will be able to set up 10 free counselling sessions for you.

I am just worried for you so much that I hope you follow through with this, and the psych maybe able to help you to explain this to them, and this certainly isn't going to easy for you.

Can I suggest which may not be appropriate but maybe a child's book of a little baby animal who has passed away may help you to explain this to them, and I hope that what I have said doesn't go beyond my sympathy for you all. L Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Dear Sirau

I would like to extend to you and your family my deepest sympathies and your post really touched me deeply.  As I know it will with all Beyond Blue posters who read it.

Geoff has provided you with some lovely thoughts and words and advice to you.

The feelings you must be experiencing now would be horrendous and this coming period of time and I won't label any time-frame because something like this has scarred you for life. 

As Geoff said with depression sufferers for the most part we hide it from everyone;  unless we want them to know.  But if we don't we put on masks to hide it and hide it quite often from our loved ones.

I wrote to you because I wanted you to feel some support from people on this site;  and though we aren't professionals, we are real and we experience depression everyday.  I too have lost a brother - not in this situation but for me it was equally horrifying. 

Sirau, please see if you can follow Geoff's advice to seek out professional help for you at this time.  I think that is a very worthwhile exercise for you to do.

Kind regards

Neil

[beingbyrne]

Oh…Dear Siaru….I am so so sorry about your loss….Damn this illness for taking such a young life. I really feel for you…as a mother of same age sons I can imagine how you and your family must be feeling and I hope we can assist you in this difficult time.

And please, please don't feel guilty about not answering his call, you are not at fault, you couldn't have known, so please be kind to yourself and make sure you will have the appropriate professional help if necessary.

with caring thoughts

mrs byrne