I miss you

Jackson1994
Community Member

I keep being bought back to that day and it won’t leave my head I sat next to him, I put his hair behind his ears and touched his head and i told him it will be ok i wanted to believe it so badly i didn’t leave his side until I knew he wasn’t alone it’s so vivid still i can see the pictures i put on the wall pictures of me and Mum and him and pictures of us with nanna, and pictures of us when we went on our first holiday with our step dad I wanted to hug him so much and and i couldn’t i told him how sorry i was that this happened him my step sister bought him a melbourne demons beanie kid and we put in his hand now i sleep with it every night

72 Replies 72

Hi Jackson,

Hope you are able to sort out the issue you may have created. Hopefully the person will listen to an explanation from you so things can get sorted.

All the best. Sometimes we act without thinking, hopefully the person will be understanding.

Dools

startingnew
Community Member
Hope your ok Jackson and things will be sorted soon.

I’m fine, I’m alone tonight and I’m sad.

Hi Jackson,

If you don't mind me asking, did you have a misunderstanding with Hannah? If so, are you able to sort it out with her?

When we are feeling so low in can be hard to be the person we want to be.

Hope you are okay Jackson

Yeah bit more than a misunderstanding and she stayed at a friends place last night, and I didn’t know where she was because she never came home after work.

we worked it out this morning

I have woken up so sick this morning, no good at all

Hey Jackson

sorry to hear about your misunderstanding but im glad you were able to work it out.

Being sick isnt nice, i hope you feel better soon

Jackson1994
Community Member
Today was so hard and so exhausting. I had to face places, thoughts and feelings I have been avoiding since everything happened. I’m laying in bed and I’m so upset, but i’ve got Suzie here and Han has been working late a lot lately 😞

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Jackson,

wow, that's huge. Is this for the project you're working on? It's understandable you'd be feeling so upset . I wonder if facing all this will help with your Recovery? I'm thinking this may give you closure, slow down the ongoing thoughts. It's ok to be upset, let those feelings out. I'm so glad you have Suzi to keep you company, hope Han isn't too far away also.

gentle hugs

cmf x

Jackson1994
Community Member

Yeah it is and will help. They interviewed me and we got some photos, ideally I think they wanted most or all of it done today but it was so hard, it’s already difficult enough but after a bit it becomes just emotionally exhausting and too much to continue. Overall productive day. Just having to go back to some of those thingsI have pushed away was so incredibly difficult. Ultimately this is all going to be used to help someone else or another family because we don’t want other people going through this and I try to remember that. That’s the whole reason I’m doing this.

Yeah H will be home in about an hour. It just sucks. Not her fault at all but it does suck. I work during the day and when she works late I’m getting home and she’s leaving. On days like that we don’t see each other much.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Shows what a thoughtful compassionate person you are to face these things to help others.

So proud of you, you've come a very long way my friend.

CMF x