I miss you

[Jackson1994]

I keep being bought back to that day and it won’t leave my head I sat next to him, I put his hair behind his ears and touched his head and i told him it will be ok i wanted to believe it so badly i didn’t leave his side until I knew he wasn’t alone it’s so vivid still i can see the pictures i put on the wall pictures of me and Mum and him and pictures of us with nanna, and pictures of us when we went on our first holiday with our step dad I wanted to hug him so much and and i couldn’t i told him how sorry i was that this happened him my step sister bought him a melbourne demons beanie kid and we put in his hand now i sleep with it every night

[Quercus]

Thank you Jackson 😊

[Jackson1994]

I need some rest so does she so I’m not going to wake her I think I’m going to get into bed next to her and give her a cuddle, it feels safe there and maybe I will get some sleep

we can talk tomorrow

[Quercus]

Hmmm somehow I'm still worried you'll sit up alone and upset.

I do think sleep is a good idea but if you lie there for 20 mins or an hour then what?

What is your plan if your mind won't stop and let you rest?

[Jackson1994]

I will wake her up if that happens I think

[Quercus]

Truly?

I know. I'm blunt and rude.

If you're reluctant to wake her now somehow I think you'll look at the clock and struggle on alone.

You do that a lot I've noticed. It makes me worried for you.

[Jackson1994]

You aren’t blunt or rude, you care

Im going to wake her up, once i’ve made myself a hot drink, or both of us

[Quercus]

Good plan! I fully approve.

Not coffee though! Hot chocolate lots of hot milk. Comfort plus.

Yes I do care. I'm a Mum and very good at nagging and you keep struggling alone when you don't need to.

She loves you Jackson. Sleep doesn't matter when someone you love needs help.

Righto. Hot chocolate and waking up Hannah time.

Feel free to blame me if she is grumpy then show the thread and she'll understand.

[startingnew]

Hi Jackson

Im really sorry for your loss, grief is such a hard thing to go through.

Im not familiar with your story or if you have any offline supports.. perhaps tomorrow it would be good to get in touch with one of those to help you through?

I dont think Hannah would mind being woken if your in need, please think about waking her for abit of support tonight. Having a hot chocolate seems like a good bonus.

Something i do for my nan who passed away 2 yrs ago is to light a candle in memory of her. I find a candle thats her favourite colour as well to make it abit more special. Some people write a letter to their loved one who has passed saying how much they miss them, what you would like to say to them and share good memories. Almost as if you were talking to them. Maybe these are things you might like to do to...

Remember to look after yourself aswell ,find some things that help you to self soothe weather it be a good book,a movie or a walk somewhere. Just things that give you moments of calm amongst the chaos.

[Jackson1994]

Thanks StartingNew

My offline supports are Hannah, Mum, and the footy club welfare staff but they don’t teally know how bad it is right now

[Quercus]

Hi Jackson,

Just checking on you. How are you holding up?

I hope you didn't continue sitting up alone.

You mentioned your supports. How are they meant to support you if they have no idea what's going on?

What holds you back from asking for help?

still worried about you.