I miss you Dad

[Shane82]

I am 32, with a wife and 18 month old son which I love very much. Just over 2 years to the day I lost my father unexpectingly. Loneliness, grief, sadness, longing are all emotions I feel every day. 2 years has passed and things don't seem to get any easier. I know nothing will change and I can't bring it back but I need to move forward to help, support and love my family.

I finally found the courage and saw a counsellor. The first few visits have been productive and helpful and I will continue for a few more visits. I hope my lack of communication, distancing myself and troubles have not caused a divide in my relationship with my wife that can't be fixed. Although seeing a counsellor has been productive I wish I could share my feelings and thoughts with my family as they are my life.

I have written this to share my thoughts rather than keep them to myself and am not specifically after any feedback.

[geoff]

dear Shane, thanks for posting your comment and welcome to the site.

First of I am sorry for the passing of your dad, and you must have been very attached to him, as he was with you.

It is such a difficult passing that can be so hard to overcome, but there will always be a special spot left in your heart for him, but now you also have another problem and that's to do with the lack of understanding from your wife and now your communication seems as though it has been neglected, and this is sad, because she can grieve with you, especially when you talk to her.

I'm sure that she doesn't want to be left out, she has to know what you are sad about or what you are grieving about, so let her join in with you, and perhaps she could go to a counselling session with you.

If you google and you probably have 'grief counselling', there are many sites there to look at. Geoff.

[Jacko777]

Hi Shane82,

I am really glad to hear that you are on a journey of recovery, i think you will close that divide possibly quicker than you think.

It took time and practice but now I 'love' my Mum and Dad, i don't 'miss' them. They would want to see me happy, the best that I can be, so i feel that I honor them by being that person. For me it is a small shift in focus between love and loss.

Most things can be fixed, stick at it, small steps each day, every day.

Jack

[Shane82]

thank you for your replies and words. Things are getting better, sometimes it is hard to see that but they are.