Help missing him

Renie

Hi my partner passed away 2 months ago we separated 8 weeks prior . He did have me as next kin and a photo of me in his wallet and us on his bedside table .

i have since discovered he cheated on me last year . Which has been heartbreaking . I still love and miss him .

melodica

I’m so sorry. Losing someone you still love is hard enough, and finding out about the cheating on top of that adds another layer of hurt and confusion. It makes sense that you miss him and feel heartbroken at the same time. Both things can be true.

Please be gentle with yourself while you carry all of this.

We are here to support you if you need to chat.

Renie

Thank you so much . It’s only been two months and I was the one who had to decide to turn off his life support . I met him four years ago today and have been crying . I truly loved him x

melodica

I am so sorry. Having to make the decision to turn off his life support is an unimaginable weight to carry, and two months is no time at all.

It makes complete sense that today, on the anniversary of the day you met, you are in tears. Your love for him is so clear, and it is valid to mourn that deeply.

If you need to talk to someone right now, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available on 1300 22 4636 or online at https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support. You can also call Griefline on 1300 845 745.

I am really glad that you reached out to share this today. Please remember that we are here to provide support too, and you are always welcome to keep talking to us here whenever you need a safe space.

Renie

Thank you I really appreciate that . We did say we love you in our final moments . It’s been hard discovering he cheated and kept a secret and deceptive side . But I also know he gone now and in time will

learn how to focus on our good memories instead

Renie

my ex partner passed away 2 months ago we separated not long before . We said I love you in his final Moments .
i found out some secrets and deception after he passed.
Plus two very close female connections which i had no idea how close .
how do I deal with that ? Thank you
I still miss and love him

white knight

Hi, welcome

Grief is different for everyone and different timeframes before you begin to rise above it.

Finding out deception after his passing would have been very disappointing but lets face it, nobody is perfect and we dont know what he was thinking but what we do know he must have had some decency to be with you as a partner, warts and all. He also might not have know these other women for very long.

I call this "the benefit of the doubt" plus for 2 months not being together he was free to conduct his life as he pleased. For what its worth I had a bad year in 2021 when 7 family members of school friends passed away and most of them I had questions unanswered. It is tough but I maintain that knowing the good in people is the right thoughts.

So getting over grief isnt easy but we can-

Grow a plant or garden in their honour
Write stories or poetry
Set aside a time once a week to go through photos etc without distraction
Talk to people

I hope you're ok. Reply anytime

"To grieve means you loved, to have loved you had to have a heart..that speaks volumes about you.." (TonyWK)

TonyWK

Renie

Thank you I will remember the good times. He actually cheated whilst we were together . And it’s hard as was with his close female friend . But I have blocked her now .

Renie

Sorry to hear you had a bad year on 2021 . He still had a photo of me in his wallet and us as a couple on his bedside table . Thanks again

white knight

If this helps-

Being a male has meant I've had not different testosterone levels than any other male. As a young male although I never cheated on a partner there were times that I was tempted. The sexual drive of some men is extraordinarily high and with some relationships its just too hard for them to stay monogamous.

The fact he had your photo in his wallet tells this guy that he loved you and only you. The others? simply physical acts.

It will be hard to recover but I'm certain you will. As soon as you feel the time is right, dont feel guilty to date and take things slow. There are good guys out there that didnt choose wisely for a good partner. They are ready to find someone genuine.

Like you

TonyWK