Hi from a newbie- Grieving the loss of a friend

Soberlicious96 · ‎15-01-2019

Hi. I'm new here. Not really sure where to begin ........ I joined here for a few reasons. One is because I'm sick of Facebook and the 'same old same old' stuff that gets around on there .... I'd rather something a bit more 'real', you know?

But I've also joined here because recently I've experienced the loss of yet another friend through suicide. And sometimes, I feel as though I'm getting too 'used to it'. this is probably now about the 10th person I know to die from suicide. But then, there are other times too when the wave of grief and shock is so overwhelming that I can barely breathe .......

Anyway, that's my story at the moment. Sorry if it's full on. Today was a pretty good day, but I'm also mindful of the funeral that is yet to come.

romantic_thi3f · ‎16-01-2019

Hi Soberlicious96,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us. We're about as 'real' as it gets here!

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, and I'm glad that you reached out here.

I don't know you well, so feel free to ignore what I have to say - but what if, you're not 'used to it'? I only say this out of experience, because I know this was something I said to myself when I had a number of deaths in such a short time. Our brains want to cope with death the only way they know how, even if that means telling you stories that might or might not be true. Grief and suicide rips us at our core. We're not designed to get 'used to it'. We aren't supposed to hear this news over and over and over.

I hope something in here resonates with you. But if it doesn't that's okay too - know that there's a big community here with much better things to say than me!

PamelaR · ‎17-01-2019

Hi Soberlicious

Warm welcome to our forums. Such sad times for you. My heart goes out to you. It is never easy losing someone. Having a friend or relative die through suicide is even more difficult I find.

While you think 'you are getting used to it', my thoughts are it is your mind and body trying to deal with the grief and loss. Especially if there has been so many. Our bodies and minds are very clever at protecting us so we don't become to overwhelmed. To me it's a coping mechanism. It doesn't really mean you are getting used to it.

Have you thought about seeing a grief counsellor? Do you have anyone you can talk to? For example, close family member or a trusted friend?

Kind regards

PamelaR

Soberlicious96 · ‎20-01-2019

Hi everyone. Just wanted to say thankyou to those who have responded to my post.

In response to the question of do I have support and people to talk to? Yes, I sure do. I have been linked in with counseling services for most of my life, due to my own issue of trauma early on in life. But sometimes, putting pen to paper ...... or fingertips to the keyboard, is better because at times I feel that writing it out gives me the chance to slow my mind and get some clarity.

Sometimes, anyway.

So thanks again. I'm pretty sure I will be on here a big more, and getting much more benefit here than on other social media sites.

romantic_thi3f · ‎23-01-2019

Hi Soberlicious96,

Thanks for checking in and it's good to hear from you. I can totally appreciate that; it's really good to know that you have that support around you.

I'm a big fan of writing too - for me I tend to use journals, but we have a few members here that have long threads kind of using them as an online diary. Whatever works for you.

Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help, or feel free to use this as a diary if you like (we can reply / not reply if you want us to!).