Grieving for my mother

[Brixtonqueen59]

My Mum passed away 12 months ago she was 88 years old and had a good long life dying after a short illness.  I still miss her so much in my everyday life and struggle to come to terms with her not being there.  My partner of 16 years did not seem to understand and said 'you will get over it'  but I haven't.  I have actually separated with him and moved location too because of his lack of understanding but there were other issues as well.  We have been seeking relationship counselling for ourselves but it has all been at my request.  I often see a person at the shops or out that reminds me of Mum and I get terribly sad and go to the toilets for a cry.  I thought I would find it easier with the passage of time but it isn't.

[quirkywords]

Brixtonqueen 

there is no use by date for grief. 
my mum died over 20 years ago and I miss and think about her a lot.

grieve as much as you need to , everyone is different. Do you have any siblings you can talk to about your mum. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Brixtonqueen59,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums…

I’m so very sorry sweetheart that you have lost your beautiful mum…

I agree with our lovely Quirky, that grief has no time limit….12 months is not a long time to have lost your precious mum….You will always hold her in your heart with so much love and really Dear Brixtonqueen, crying is okay so please don’t be afraid to cry if you need to…..I lost my mum around 6 years ago, I still think of her and at times, tears will still fall…..

I think in a way, we never really “get over it” as your ex partner said…and (I’m sorry he said that to you)….but in time we learn to live without them….my heart goes out to you Dear Brixtonqueen..

I would like to send you a warm caring hug 🤗, along with my kind thoughts and care..

Grandy..

[Rota]

I'm struggling a little bit at the moment so I may not be able express my thoughts properly, I apologise if I get this wrong.

I lost my mum 17 years ago. For a long time I dreamed that she was alive and then feel loss again when I woke up. I was living some distance away and we had a weekly call, so I felt the loss and numbness as soon as I was told, and then it hit me when there was no call, and gain the next week, just harder each time I wanted to reach out and couldn't. I regret that we didn't talk more. Eventually I got used to not being able to ever see or hear from her again. This is the part that is called "getting over it". I still miss her, there are times when I feel the pain of her being gone, there are times when I think of her life and the things she did for me as a child and I smile.

12 months is not a long time to grieve someone you love. Try to think of the good times, there are more of those than the bad time at the end.