Feeling tired, lost and vague

[Guest_093]

It's 2.15am I sit here looking out the window once where my husband sat doing the same thing in March before he went into hospital for minor medical condition and did not come home. Today at 10.00am I spread his ashes across my home and say my final goodbye and to gives us both peace and harmony. I have not said my final goodbye to loved one in this manner before in my life so do not know what to expect when I open the urn to set him free! I feel so numb with nothingness and feel my anxiety is bad as I have been extremely itchy on my palms of hand and scratch and scratched so much that I have scratched marks in my hands but with that at least I feel the pain. I chose today as it is hubby's 60th birthday and have bought a bunch of rainbow roses that have scent in his memory of his great life! Yesterday I was supposed to work a shift but clean forgot that I was rostered on. I have never missed a day's work even due to depression or anxiety but I sit here with a smile on my face and think of his life and love. RIP Bazza.

[Aaronsis]

Thinking of you with much love as you honour your husband Guest_093

I think it is so very beautiful you have planned a lovely morning to spread his ashes and set him free and also on a very special day which is his birthday, and 60th too!

The roses sound absolutely stunning and I am sure that they smell divine.

I sometimes get itchy fingers with anxiety, I think this is part of the deal, sometimes I have had itchy feet too, I find sometimes tablets for hayfever can reduce the bad itchy feeling.

All the strength in the world to you this morning as you set your husband free and move in to the next phase of your grief and your healing. Big hugs to you.

I would love to know how you managed when you opened the urn, perhaps some tips for me, we are still to do this process.

Hugs

AS