Immediate support
Immediate support

Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Welcome to the Grief and Loss section
  • replies: 0

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and annivers... View more

Hey there,Welcome to the Grief and Loss section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This section is for all discussions relating to how grief and loss has affected you- providing a space for you to express your feelings, discuss difficult moments and anniversaries, and honour the memories of your lost loved ones. Everyone’s experience of grief or loss is unique. You might experience all kinds of difficult or overwhelming emotions, and you might sometimes wonder if the sadness will ever end. This - and anything in between - is a normal reaction to loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can help to allow yourself to share your grief, and let others support you. Please be aware that discussions in this section of the Forums may include references to self-harm and suicide. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. If need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Griefline – between 8am and 8pm (AEST), call 1300 845 745 to chat with a specially trained volunteer You are not alone in this, and we are here to support one another. Thank you for being here. Kind regards,Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest_8790 Mothers Day 2019
  • replies: 8

Tomorrow another year to remember my lovely gentle soul mother who would have been 98 this year. She had the most gentle kind nature and I am proud to call her mum, friend, ally and more. She was the world to me and miss her. It will be 4 years in Ju... View more

Tomorrow another year to remember my lovely gentle soul mother who would have been 98 this year. She had the most gentle kind nature and I am proud to call her mum, friend, ally and more. She was the world to me and miss her. It will be 4 years in July exactly 5 days after my birthday and though time fades, never my memory of her. She always supported me through my days before I got diagnosed with major depression. All the ups and downs she remained true. I am truly thankful for my 4.9 (no. 5' tall mum would insist. ha ha) tall mum. How I enjoyed our outings together, our sense of humour and the love she gave me. Thank you mum for all the good times. I remember when I got angry, she would say talk it out as its better to have an empty house than a bad tenant - meaning don't let all the anger stay inside. I will visit the cemetery and have my memories and remember. Enjoy your mothers every day not just one day a year. Life is too short. Will be glad when I can join her someday.

GrievingAunt  PPROM survivor niece died yesterday. Help!
  • replies: 2

My gorgeouse niece left us yesterday, she died in her fathers arms. I have taken care of her full time since she was released from NICU in Janauary. She basically was my daughter, even my sister, her mum, said this is so. They had to call the Ambulan... View more

My gorgeouse niece left us yesterday, she died in her fathers arms. I have taken care of her full time since she was released from NICU in Janauary. She basically was my daughter, even my sister, her mum, said this is so. They had to call the Ambulance on me as I triggered a anxiety attack that put me into shock. I could hear and see everyone but couldn't communicate. Everyone's worried about me but all I keep thinking about is my beautiful niece. I cannot sleep, I've surrounded myself with her clothes and toys and just piled them on me. I have all her stuff throughout my house. My car has her childseat. I'm broken. I don't know if I'm strong enough to not slip back into full blown depression and anxiety again. Seeing my other new born niece today and holding her I just kept thinking of how my other niece would hold my fingers like that and how I would look into her eyes. Please someone just talk to me.

Eza84 Grief after blighted ovum
  • replies: 1

I'd like to share my recent experience with a blighted ovum. I haven't been able to find much online support so thought i would share here in the hopes of talking to others. Like alot of people, i had never heard of a blighted ovum before. I started ... View more

I'd like to share my recent experience with a blighted ovum. I haven't been able to find much online support so thought i would share here in the hopes of talking to others. Like alot of people, i had never heard of a blighted ovum before. I started to love my baby and get excited and plan for the future like most women do when they get that first positive test. But to find out at 6 weeks that there was no baby growing, but having all the symptoms of pregnancy, to then have to go through the process of a miscarriage, was traumatic for me to say the least. It put alot of pressure on my relationship too as my husband and i came to terms with what was happening. We didn't handle it well which added to the pressure and sadness. It is such a difficult thing to go through and im finding there is really no support for women like us. I know i am not alone in this experience and would love advice on moving forward.

Mydogismytherapist44 First time poster
  • replies: 1

Hi, Don't know really where to start or what to say. But I guess my current struggles are with losing my Dad a couple of months ago to cancer. My Dad is my hero. Like most girls Dad's are. When my Dad got really sick and we knew we only had a few mon... View more

Hi, Don't know really where to start or what to say. But I guess my current struggles are with losing my Dad a couple of months ago to cancer. My Dad is my hero. Like most girls Dad's are. When my Dad got really sick and we knew we only had a few months left with him, I moved home to help my Mum care for him and to spend as much time with him as I could. But that entire month I was there, it was so hard as I watching my hero deteriorate. I watched him take his last breath and sat with him and told him how much I loved him. I just miss him. Miss him more and more every day. I feel like since losing him I have lost my will, strength and determination. All the things he instilled in us as kids. I have no drive at work, I keep making mistakes in life and I am so angry at the world. Something little will set me off and then I feel embarrassed for my going crazy and yelling at people. I feel like a failure all the time and that I'm just a crappy human. I just feel really lost and if he was alive I'd be letting him down with how I am acting. He wouldn't be proud of me and that makes me more upset.

Steevo I miss my mum
  • replies: 1

My mum suffered from severe depression and bi polar disorder . I always thought she was going to get better but after a 15 year struggle and after us kids trying everything to help , she took her own life at the age of 61. Her later life was one of u... View more

My mum suffered from severe depression and bi polar disorder . I always thought she was going to get better but after a 15 year struggle and after us kids trying everything to help , she took her own life at the age of 61. Her later life was one of utter suffering everyday she lived in loneliness and isolation . We would visit as often as we could but Mum was Usually very intoxicated on prescription medication and alcohol. This is the lady that cared for me when I was young , she did love me but she had been taken . I tried so hard in the hope that Mum would get better but it was not to be . I look into the eyes of my boy who was born 2 months after my mum died and know that Mum would have loved him . The feeling now without her is sadness at the level of suffering and loneliness she went through every day . When death came she was alone , she would have been so scared .. .

Moon and back Anger from miscarriage
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I had a miscarriage 12 months ago - I’m 40 years old. It’s turned me into a completely different person! I’m always angry, so angry. It’s turned me off any kind of intimacy with my husband and I just feel down and angry all the time. As ... View more

Hi everyone, I had a miscarriage 12 months ago - I’m 40 years old. It’s turned me into a completely different person! I’m always angry, so angry. It’s turned me off any kind of intimacy with my husband and I just feel down and angry all the time. As the months go on I get more angry as I realize i am further away from having another child - time is not on my side plus I’m tired all the time. My daughter is 3 but I really wanted a second child. I’ve been grappling with the idea that perhaps a bit of depression is creeping in......... should I go and see a GP?

Love_Heart Recovering
  • replies: 5

Hi i am new here. I am recovering from a breakdown, hoping someone else understands and has advice. The last 3 years has been too much and i broke. Losing the 2 people who meant the most to me plus my dog, grief, sadness, disappointment took over and... View more

Hi i am new here. I am recovering from a breakdown, hoping someone else understands and has advice. The last 3 years has been too much and i broke. Losing the 2 people who meant the most to me plus my dog, grief, sadness, disappointment took over and i ended up in a black hole. I have improved somewhat but finding a new set of challenges. Now im just losing friends coz i dont meet their expectations. They offer help in the form of information and if i dont do what theyre suggesting, then it looks like i dont care. Im always misunderstood when someone is upset with me. You know what i mean? Like i really want to be like this. My body and mind are slowly recovering but it takes time. I have had major physical symptoms to the point of thinking i was dying and its all from stress. I would like to be whole again and im getting there but losing jobs and people along the way. Everytime this happens, depression gets worse and i withdraw again. Where has my fight gone, motivation? I am sick of being judged when i dont go out of my way to hurt people, just doing the best i can. Its not a lot, better than last year and its something, baby steps. People dont get it and i feel like an island.

Bandybaby I'm back, but not much better
  • replies: 9

Hi, I haven't posted for a while,my son had 75% 3rd degree burns and suffering all manner of problems. We went out bush off grid for a while and my son appeared to be getting better. He still had his moments,though. I'd gotten him off all pain killer... View more

Hi, I haven't posted for a while,my son had 75% 3rd degree burns and suffering all manner of problems. We went out bush off grid for a while and my son appeared to be getting better. He still had his moments,though. I'd gotten him off all pain killers except panadeine forte, and all other meds except anti depressants and mood stabilizers. There was light at the end of the tunnel {and it wasn't the train}, until Sept 21 when he'd gone to town for the day,and was hitch hiking home that night when he was hit by a car and killed. We are so devastated, and finding it hard to get on with life...although I know he's not in any more pain now, I miss him so much.

Shortyy103 My father committed suicide
  • replies: 3

On the third of April my father who I was extremely close to committed suicide, with no signs or goodbye.. I'm shattered I need my dad. I'm so angry not at him but at myself for not sensing it, how did I not realise. I still don't quite believe he is... View more

On the third of April my father who I was extremely close to committed suicide, with no signs or goodbye.. I'm shattered I need my dad. I'm so angry not at him but at myself for not sensing it, how did I not realise. I still don't quite believe he is gone, and I don't want to believe it I don't want it to feel real. I'm scared i just need to talk to him, I need him. I'm 21 with a 1 year old and I can't help but loose it after trying to keep it together infront of her and I'm scared I'm damaging her by crying and yelling infront of her, and that I'm going to ruin her life by doing so so then I get angry and feel guilty for that too as well as feeling that I'd be disappointing my dad aswell because he believed I was an amazing mum. I don't know what to do or how to cope, I feel so empty, numb, broken, in shock, heart broken. I can't help but feel I wasn't enough and I'm angry at myself for that, why would he leave me

MrsFox609 Sudden death of my mother
  • replies: 3

Hi. This is my very first post. On Wednesday (12/6/19) I got a phone call that my perfectly healthy Mother who was 58 had died. I had seen her the evening prior , my son and I often visit 2-3times a week after school pick up. And 2 days a week she wo... View more

Hi. This is my very first post. On Wednesday (12/6/19) I got a phone call that my perfectly healthy Mother who was 58 had died. I had seen her the evening prior , my son and I often visit 2-3times a week after school pick up. And 2 days a week she would pick up/drop of my son at school. She seemed fine. Happy. Making jokes with me. That at night she went to bed and didn’t wake up. i am absolutely devastated , I can’t get the memory of that day out of my head. The picture of her lying in her bed, looking like she was just still sleeping, won’t leave. Im scared to go to sleep. Im scared I won’t wake up or I’m scared I’ll replay it again. Im scared I’ll forget all my memories and I’m scared my children will forget her. i feel so much sadness that I didn’t hug her goodbye on the Tuesday night and I didn’t tell her I loved her enough. im finding myself going in waves. One moment I feel okay. I can accept it then the next I just wish I could rewind the clock and somehow stop it? I’ll be fine. Then I’ll cry. Then laugh. Then cry. i don’t know how to deal, what am I meant to do? How can I make sure I don’t forget anything? And how do I make the feeling of loss go away? I have two children who absolutely adored their grandma and they are dealing with this so much better than I.