Worried Mum

[Mummac]

I am very worried about our 24 yr old son. He lives with us as he just works 5mins down the road. We live in a rural area with basically no other men his age..town is 25mins away again with limited social opportunities. He has no friends just work acquaintances and his 3 siblings and all other family members are at least 3hrs away. Since covid lockdown he goes out only very occasionally..in last 10 months he has lost a lot of weight he is extremely skinny..he struggles to communicate and never smiles like he used to. He goes to the gym 3 times a week. I am not sure how to suggest to him that he might have depression and may need to talk with someone, and as he is basically otherwise healthy he has not been to a doctor in over 6 years and out here no doctors are taking on new patients.. just want to see him happy again but it is almost like he tries hard not to be. I am nearly certain he is not on any drugs and we are a Christian family...any suggestions would be helpful

[TrueSeeker]

Hello Mummac

I can see that you're a very loving and caring mum who just wants his son to be happy. Maybe visiting him, bringing his favourite meal and have a casual conversation about how things are in his life might help. Usually at that age finding a romantic partner might be the problem.

I hope this helped a little bit, please take care and hopefully everything is ok

[Summer Rose]

Hi Mummac

I can understand why you’re concerned about your son, as he has certainly undergone some big physical and emotional changes.

I’m not a doctor (just a mum who cares for a daughter who lives with anxiety and OCD) but I’m a bit concerned about his weight loss.
Have you ruled out a physical ailment that could be causing this? If you haven’t, then a trip to the GP and blood tests might be helpful.

On the other hand, if he’s been trying to lose weight, the question is did he have weight to lose? I guess my concern here is that deliberate, unnecessary and excessive weight loss could be a sign of a number of mental health conditions.

Talking to him about how he’s feeling is a great place to start. I would pick a time when neither of you are stressed or under time pressure and have some privacy, and just ask him how he’s going. You can tell him that you’ve noticed some changes in him and are concerned. You can reinforce that it’s okay to be unwell and that you’re there to listen and provide support.
Beyond Blue has some great materials on their website to help guide you through the conversation. You could also call their 24/7 free counselling line on 1300 224 636 to get some further advice from an counsellor about how to handle the conversation.

Your son is lucky to have such a loving mum. 
Happy to chat more. Please post anytime.

Kind thoughts to you