OK, I had enough! (no I'm not suicidal). But I'm tired of being dismissed or overlooked. I'm not sure why this happens but it is killing me.
I seem to not belong anywhere or any group. I can have hours of good conversations with people, but eventually I seem to fade away. Specially in groups. It not seem to matter how much effort I put in it, I eventually just become a white noise in the background. People seem to hit very well so often and so easily in the first time they have a conversation. But not me. In groups - whether it is at work or team mates form sports, or even close friends - I always end up by myself somehow. It may start great but somehow it just ends.
I'm always trying to do the best to everyone, and I'm always the one who does a lot - but I do quietly - and people simply don't see it. If I'm not there doing, things would go astray in so many ways, but the other dude who does much lesser gets all credits because people note them, but not me.
One thing that was always against me is that I get bored of most people. I find most people get talking about the same ordinary things and telling the same old jokes. I simply can't interact like this for too long.
I'm confused of how my mind is now, after facing so much disappointment, frustration and this feeling of not belonging. I think what I'm asking him help on how to deal with that. More specifically, how to continue having motivation to perform at works, compete in teams, spending time with friends - or cultivating friends, if all I get is distance, being ignored, overlooked, undervalued etc. In the end, I keep feeling the pressure of having to overperformance on everything to be at least accepted.
