'There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness put of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.' - Washington Irving
Hi odium
The above quote is one of my favourite quotes, where Washington Irving expresses tears as being the result of extreme emotion. While some people will only cry under extreme circumstances, some will cry with even the slightest emotion. Others may never cry or even have a condition that doesn't allow them to produce tears. I suppose, at the end of the day, the question becomes about what is normal for us.
Not sure if it will help but I'll throw out the following in case it does
- While I will cry/vent my extreme sadness, when I'm feeling a sense of grief, loss or disappointment, once I have moved through it I may no longer cry or be able to cry, once that process is complete
- While some deeply feeling aspect of me comes to life, I can cry at the drop of a hat. If the pure analyst in me is analysing something that appears overwhelmingly upsetting, I cannot cry while in a state of pure analysis. It's a matter of purely observing what's upsetting, rather than feeling what's upsetting
- As someone who can easily feel so deeply for others, to the point where it can lead me to sob uncontrollably at times, I can feel their overwhelming grief. if I have little emotional connection to someone I may not cry for them. If I have some resentment towards them for some reason and a deep disconnection from them, it is impossible for me to cry for them. At a recent funeral, I discretely went outside for 5 minutes before returning. I just couldn't manage the overwhelming volume of grief in the room
- I've found it takes a certain amount of energy to be able to feel emotion. If I have no energy, for one reason or another, all I may feel is numb or emotionally detached
I think moving through different stages can be another factor. For example, there may be the stage of making sense of what's incredibly upsetting, where there may be few to no tears. The next stage may involve an outpouring of tears on and off for days, weeks or months. Then, when that process of venting has come to a close, the next stage may involve talking it out with someone, so as to begin moving forward in the best direction. So, the stages may involve figuring it out, crying it out and then talking it out. It all gradually comes out in a process.
I imagine there is good reason for you not being able to cry. Can be so challenging to find the reasons for why we work the way we do at times.
