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When you last truly happy?
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When were you last truly happy?
I came across this question while doing some self-research on a couple of therapy techniques, and it stumped me. When was I last truly happy? I'm not just talking about when did you last feel joy, do something fun, laughed, or had a smile on your face. When were you last TRULY happy? It may just be a manifestation of this crippling disease, but I truly don't remember. So, I thought I'd throw the question out to YOU - when were YOU last truly happy?
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Interesting question.
I'm actually trying to sum up what being truly happy is. I'm guessing you would have to be happy in your job along with everything else since it is such a big part of you life. life's stresses don't help either. At this stage, I think that I would just be happy with just being content with life. I'm thinking, if I can do that, I'm half way there.
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Hi Abyss,
Thank you for such an interesting question. To be honest with you, what struck me about this question was how my mind came completely blank.
I don't remember the last time I was truly happy. I don't know if I recognise happiness to spot it when going through my 'photo stream' of memories. I look at every photo I have today and I look 'happy' but I feel miserable, because I remember how miserable my circumstances were. I smile and my smile looks happy but I look at those eyes and I see emptiness.
I don't have any photos past just over 2 years ago because I hated myself, how I look and what I represented to myself.
The thing is with depression and anxiety is that you are so deep, so dark and so overwhelmingly silent a hole that the silence is deafening. I've forgotten happiness and I worry that this is the very reason that will stop me from ever finding it.
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Hi Abyss,
Thanks for the response as well as for starting this thread. I think it's taken off because you asked a really good question in your original post.
Unexpectedly perplexing isn't it?
I wonder if one has to be happy to remember true happiness?
I love how you replied with more questions. I mean that as a compliment- I like your style.
I think the answer would vary from person to person. I can't speak for anyone else but on a completely personal level, I don't have to be happy to recall true happiness. But I think it's just a tad easier to remember happier times if you're presently happy, that's all. Again, that's just my opinion. I realise others will have different perspective, which is equally as valid.
Dottie x
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Hi Abyss,
What a question! It's strange how we all seem to draw a blank!
I was last truly happy the day my son was born. Exhausted and terrified but so at peace and happy watching my husband meet his son and look so awed. And the next 3 years is a blur..even my daughter's birth...How awful.
Thank you for this post, this might not be a happy realisation but its an important one. You've given me another reason to fight to feel better.
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Sorry The Abyss for taking over your thread for a moment...
Hi Sleepless1987,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so numb. You sound so very upset.
Welcome to the forums, this is a supportive place to speak your mind. It's intimidating to start a thread of your own but I just wanted you to know if you decide to there are so many kind people here who will listen and care. Take care of yourself.
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Hi Abyss
I wish I could give you a moment in time where I was.....but until then....
- I was happy when I saw the ceiling this morning when I woke up
Just keeping it simple 🙂
(Hey Sleepless1987....you are not alone here...Hugs)
my kind thoughts
Paul
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Sleepless1987 that sounds like hell. 😞
I think we should all get together and have a huge "feels party". Yeah that means stuffing your face with all kind of garbage, watching movies that make us FEEL. Or remember feeling.
I used to do that with horror movies. At least it made me feel scared. Then I stopped being scared of horror. 😞
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Hey Sleepless. Unfortunately many of us feel that hollowness. For some it lasts a moment, for others it lasts a lifetime. I often wonder if the hollowness is a protective mechanism - it protects us from the huge lows, blocking out the feels of hurt, of despair, of fear. Sadly it takes with it the feelings of joy, like a steam roller through life, keeping everything even, keep the bumps from causing too much pain. Like what Croix was referring to near the top...flattening the peaks and troughs.
Wanderlust - I like the sound of your "feel party"! (Perhaps the start of another thread..."today I feel........". sad, angry, happy, empty, overwhelmed???). I can't do horror movies....I can understand why you use them to help to "feel"... but I suspect I get those some feelings from everyday life! I hope you find another substitute. It did make me pause however....I have a daughter who has always been into horror movies, and it saddens me to think that she may use them in the same way 😞
blondguy....so true. I was happy when I realised I got through the day before, when I got through that situation, when I made it to the end ..... perhaps it was just relief?
New Moon / Ginnygin- gladness, contentment, a stray smile....they are moments we snatch in our everyday lives, the things that keep us going, the little victories on life's journey!
Quercus - highly appropriate.
Keep the posts coming. Even if you can't remember a single happy moment, I think it's important to acknowledge it and share. 🙂