tried to seek help for depression

[Robbie81]

Hi,  i am new here. I have recently sought help from my gp regarding what I believe is depression. I feel i have been struggling to fight off the depression for around 3 years. I have a beautiful family, loving wife, 4 healthy children and a well paying job, nice home ect (nothing to be depressed about)

Over the past few years i feel as though everything is increasingly an effort, even on the best days i have to make a conscious effort to be happy, i struggle with confidence and constantly doubt myself at work and home, I  feel usesless and stupid. I find myself doubting my relationships with my family and friends and dont want to be around them. I am struggling to get 4hrs a night sleep, (i also work shifts) i worry about things to the point of making myself ill, i constantly feel lonely and need to be hugged touched which im sure is driving my wife away. We have just had a baby  3 months ago so she undestanably has very little time or desire for me but as hard as i try i cannot be rational about this and constantly push her for intimacy, (pushing her away and making me feel horrible) I have been unusually angree at my wife and children and loosing my temper as i have never done before. 

I got to a very low point after issues at work and home became too much and i left work in tears and decided to seek help. My GP agreed after talking with me that i was suffering depression and prescribed medication. I have only been talking this 2 weeks and have some better days but some worse days even to thoughts of self harm although I don't think I could ever do that to my children. 

My GP put me on a mental health plan and reffered me to a psychologist. At the initial consultation with the Psychologist she asked a few questions,  no where near as in depth as the GP maybe 5mins , then asked so what are you depressed about? followed by i don't think its depression or maybe mild and anxiety . Don't think you need medication just change your diet and exercise and come back in 5 weeks ?  I was like WTF ??? 

So that's where I am at now after finally taking the leap to get help im left feeling worse than beforehand. Im still taking the medication and hoping it has some effects soon or at the very  least gives the side effect of loss of sex drive / libido so at least i wont have to worry about that and pushing my wife away. 

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[Sophie_M]

Hi Cammo, thanks for your post and for sharing with us some of how you have been struggling recently. It sounds like you seem to be very overwhelmed at the moment and from what you have told us you do seem to be very busy juggling home life and work life especially with the recent birth of your baby.We are writing to you as we feel you may need additional support at the moment.

It is great that you have since taken the step to go to see the GP and we understand that you have not had the best experience with the psychologist. It is not uncommon for it to take time to find the right psychologist that you can build rapport with as well as feel open to speak to.

We first of all, recommend that you make an appointment to see the GP to discuss the concerns that you have with the psychologist, at the same time the GP can recommend another psychologist for you. Alternatively, there are psychologists listed on our website here. These are psychologists that specialise in working with anxiety and depression and may be a good staring point.

Sometimes when people feel really low, they may have thoughts of wanting to harm themselves, others or to kill themselves, If you have these thoughts please take the following steps:

- Speaking to a doctor
- Calling the local Mental Health Team (you can find the number in your local phone directory, or by calling your local hospital)
- Calling Lifeline 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
- Attending the emergency department of the local hospital
- If someone is at immediate risk of hurting themselves or others call 000 for emergency services to attend.

With help and support, you can get through this.

We also encourage you to utilise the forums as a way to engage with others who are also struggling with depression/or anxiety.

It is important that you take steps to keep yourself safe. We encourage you to call the beyondblue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. We can help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with counselling support, information and referrals. We also have web chat service available from 3pm-midnight 7 days a week, you can access this from our website:

We hope this is helpful to you and is the first step of a new beginning for you.

[kc87]

Hey cam. Your post stuck out to me a bit because I  had this same backwards and forwards between doctors, psychiatrist and psychologist. I felt like because like you I was still keeping things together at home with the family and at work that they didn't really take my feelings seriously. I tried many different doctors and wasn't getting where I needed to and all that only causes more stress. This might not  sound that helpful but in the end it was my husband that saved me. By making him really understand what was happening, we worked together and kept encouraging me to do things that would make me happier and supporting me so much that over a year or so I did go back to my old self. There were still tears along the way but he did for me what no amount of paying for treatment could. I guess it benefited him too because now he has a better wife too! All the best

[Robbie81]

Hi Sophie,  thanks for the replies. I was feeling very low after my physciologist appointment last week, probably the worst i have felt to date. I had been hoping to get help and someone to discuss my feelings to help me understand the depression. I returned to my gp as you suggested and have made some changes to my medication as it wasn't working. I am still trying to find a Psychologist but for now i have been doing a lot of reading on depression to try and understand what i am going through and how the illness affects people. It really shocked me to have someone question what I believe im going through and had me questioning myself,  the more i research and read people's stories on beyond blue the more i see in common and feel reassured that i am not alone in what im going through. I had also been trying to keep my feelings from my wife as she has enough to cope with at the moment however we have been talking more, she is very being very supportive although like myself still trying to understand the illness. I am feeling much better the past few days and have been getting more sleep too, so hopefully there are more good days to come .

Thanks again for taking the time to respond .

[Robbie81]

Hi KC87,  sorry my reply was to you also . It is helpful to know im not the only one that felt i wasn't really heard when seeking help as i appeared to be keeping ontop of things (although it was starting to unravel) as you said this caused me alot of added stress sending me further into a depressed state. Like you i have also found my partner has been a huge help and supporting my recovery.  That along with changing my medication has me feeling much better these last few days , thanks for taking the time to reply,  its so comforting to know that we are not alone in this 👍

[itsallreal]

Hey Cam,

Mate i was in the same situation as you perfect family, job,car etc. but i was just lost, Speaking openly and honestly with my wife and GP really made the world of difference, I hope things are looking brighter for you.