Hi another life, welcome
It seems clear from your post that this is more a marital problem that has led to depression and dissatisfaction with your life.
There is a lot at stake here. It's vital that you get help from the right people, your GP is a start. But while you are there ask about family counseling. It's worth a try isn't it?
Having a large family means its full of work, drama, activity etc and it would snow you under all the time. Even the smallest changes in your marriage could make a difference in you AND your husband. Many people in such a situation forget the little things that make up a happy marriage, like a flower to you from your garden might mean the world but your husband might have lost those thoughts over the years.
Time for both of you to seek some real help. Chat with your GP and also seek family counseling IMO
Tony WK
