The financial world of "snakes and ladders"

[white knight]

You know the game well. You all start at the bottom and up you go as the dice rolls. Then just as you think you are ahead, down you slide, everyone laughs but you, hiding your disappointment behind your smile.

The thing with a game like that, the winner is the result of pure luck and nothing more. The luck of the dice. There is no real magic ability lurking within us. The Prime Minister or a mathematician would have no more luck than you. So while it is a game, it, like depression, can strike anyone at any time regardless of who you are, how clever you are or how stable you think you are.

Take Mr and Mrs average. This modern world of Dad, mum and two kids for example. More often than not both parents work. Lets look at the cash strapped modern family. They experience the never ending ‘snakes’ that they slide down every week. They live on the brink, it could be because of poor financial management, too many expensive purchases etc. All the while their game is more a gamble, for if one of the parents fall ill outside of work as they cant afford income protection insurance (not many can) they drop to one income. Result stress on top of a stressful situation. Even if a workplace accident income drops to 60%.

For the family above, they need to find, somehow, more ladders than snakes. Some find it by way of inheritance, others a third job, and some downsize with their home. Some don’t make it. Bankruptcy in 2014-2015 were over 17,000. Some were companies, companies or individuals this is staggering. Imagine the number of families effected by this financial doom? Imagine the number of people struck down with depression during that process of seeing their life as a failure, losing their homes or cars, the humiliation. Little things to some of us like rolling up at a friend’s BBQ driving an old car – “what happened to your lovely Land Cruiser Bill”? "umm, just sold it"

The important message here that I want to convey is that bankruptcy is temporary, one day it will end and you are able to seek a limited amount of finance to secure essential items for your basic survival until it does terminate. The numbers show, it is very common. It doesn’t mean its your fault. The roll of the dice remember!

Basic financial stress is best to be dealt with by a qualified financial advisor. And as soon as you feel depressed, visit your GP for a talk.

Suspect a friend has money issues? Reach out and chat. Tell them its doesn't last forever. Comfort them.

Tony WK

[white knight]

Hi

Christmas has come and gone. How many of us over spent on our credit cards? I was alarmed when a friend told me they spent $4000 on presents alone.

Everyone has a different idea of what present purchasing is all about but to me the fallout from over spending is not worth the depression it returns.

Have you experienced financial stress lately? Do you want to chat about it?

We are here ready to help find a way to cope

TonyWK

[Elizabeth CP]

Hi Tony I have always been very careful with money which has been a blessing as my husband had low paying jobs & had to leave work at 50 due to his disability & for several years I've been his full time carer. We bought a cheap house, used hand me down furniture & did as much repairs etc ourselves. Holidays with the kids were cheap or free camping trips which they still remember fondly. I share this to encourage everyone to do whatever they can to cut expenses & keep out of debt because it is worth it.

Unfortunately one son married someone who has no money sense. Whatever they have is spent immediately with nothing left to pay essential bills. They have massive debts including one for a car that was repossessed because they couldn't meet the repayments. This financial stress has sent my son on downward spirals ending in several psych hospital admissions. Unfortunately his MH issues made it impossible to take back control sending him on a vicious cycle. Fortunately he has been treated recently for a physical condition which has impacted his MH so he is now improving & gradually trying to take control of his finances. It will be a long term battle but worth it.

I encourage anyone struggling financially to seek help ASAP. MH issues combined with financial issues are a terrible combination & for most people too difficult to manage on your own.

[white knight]

Hi Elizabeth

So good your post. Like your DIL I was no good with money but admittedly I did always pay my bills first but then I'd struggle for most of the two weeks until I got paid.

I used to ignore people that told me to get a budget. Initially I tried a budget and it lasted about one month and my impulsivity got the better of me and I'd spend a lot. I needed the "fix" of retail therapy mainly spending on car accessories.

When I joined with my last partner she was more a saver type. So eventually she suggested she do the finances and I had an allowance. That seemed good at the time as the allowance was more than I usually spent so went along with it. The trouble was, if I wanted a major item like a trike (3 wheeled motorbike) which cost say $40,000 I got the comment "you'll have to save for it out of your allowance". Well, saving say $50 a week it would take me 15 years so that suggestion became preposterous. In other words the financial agreement became a total control thing. Finally when my daughter trained it to uni on Sunday nights she got home at 1am also walking 3kms from the station to uni so she needed a car. I suggested a $3000 car that I could semi restore but again "out of your allowance"...it became the beginning of the end.

So, I remarried 8 years ago and with that in mind but also my past saving impulsivity in my mind my wife and I sat down and worked out a plan. She would do the banking on her phone after a short discussion with me. She set up 3 accounts, one for income that would pay for shopping and daily spending, one for bills like rates, power and insurances and one for savings.

We are finishing off building our new caravan. Over the past 4 months we have spent around $9,000 on bits and pieces and sold our small caravan also. We haven't had one disagreement. I'm proud of her.

So it's a fine line of allowing the person with the better money management skills to do the banking but that person must have tact and respect for the other partner and keep them informed.

It sounds like your son is having a tough time of his situation but he'll have to learn the hard way with her and there is little you can do. One relative of mine was in a situation whereby no savings were possible and it nearly tore them apart. She ended up getting a second part time job and saved every cent from that job to buy a new car. Sometimes that can work. But in your sons situation his partner might see it as more money to buy things.

TonyWK