hello Teewaa, a lot of people don't understand what depression is or what happens to the person struggling with it, they basically don't want to know, so the easiest way out is to say you're crazy so the discussion will end, but if only they knew how much it changes your personality.
Please never feel as though you are a disappointment, did you ask to feel this way, NO, you didn't, so it's not your fault, and never feel as though it is.
To put on a fake face is too exhausting, you can't pretend to show people that you seem to be fine, because you know that you're not well, so it's such an effort to pretend, because when you are asked to do something you can't do it, you don't want to, plus you have no desire, but this is what you can't hide.
I'm not sure how old you are, but first thing you must do is visit your doctor, but before this can I suggest you do the K-10, which you can google, it's a test to give you a score to see whether or not you aredepressed, and if so give you a number between 1 to 10, the higher the score the more depressed you feel, and it would be wise to do this test a few times of the day, then take this to your doctor.
The other thing which I suggest is to write down in a diary or an A4 page everything that is troubling you, and also give this to your doctor.
You have no support at the moment, especially by your b/friend which is so upsetting for you, simply because he has no idea of depression means and how it will change you.
Hope you can get back to us. Geoff. x
