I'm sorry to hear you are having a bad time tonight.
This is probably not suitable for this evening but sometime you might like to look at Buzz Aldrin's account (Magnificent Desolation) of how he was laid low by his retirement, illness (bipolar) and alcohol and recovered successfully to lead a pretty good life in control of things.
"Man's Search For Meaning" is a good one. Read that last year. It's got some really good points that I still remember. Particularly for a guy who survived ww2. If you are more introverted then there is "Quiet" by susan cain. It's not a crappy self-help book, it's actually got some well researched psychology behind it. If you get annoyed with society and all it focuses on? Then try "letters to a young contrarian" by Christopher Hitchens. It's pretty much about never fearing being an individual. I feel like this is a theme that's important to remember in mental illness. Especially for someone at my age (23) who is at home drinking tea watching youtube and talking to people on this forum lol. Who cares though right?
I'm reading Matt Haigs, Reasons to stay alive and it's amazing! It's as though he is talking to you, it's so real. Alot about depression. Hope you're feeling better xo
