Dear Moon_cakes~
I'd like to join Quirky in welcoming you here to the Forum and echo the good advice. You are certainly going though a most difficult and maybe even frightening period in your life, and if you are like me this will have been building up for a long time, getting more severe and difficult to cope with - or even really understand.
Uni, and a Masters Degree, are in themselves fraught with pressure. The need to do well academically, the constant being thrown together with others, the seemingly endless future without sign of relief. The feelings that one might fail, sometimes even pointlessness
You have got this far -and it is a pretty big accomplishment, despite having to battle those feelings - and it can seem very discouraging that no matter how much you try you have not beaten them and they remain, even getting worse.
Life can be so much better - I'm an example.
May I suggest a two fold approach. First, as Quirky says see your doctor, book a long appointment and set out all that has been happening to you, the way you feel and all. This can be a pretty daunting thing to do, I found writing everywhere out first at my leisure and then sharing the paper worked best. That way I had plenty of time to put everything down in an orderly and clear manner, making edits over several days.
It also made the actual consultation go easier.
Of course if you are already under treatment basically the same thing applies, your account will underline your current regime is ineffective and urgently needs review.
Seeing the university's Disabilities Services after either before or after seeing your doctor is an excellent idea, they are confidential, can assist with such things as deadlines and penalties and will provide advice and often counseling. It is important they are aware of the conditions you are struggling under so you are not penalized.
The other is lifestyle, exercise, nutrition, getting the best sleep you can and overall reducing anything that you are not obliged to do if it causes extra stress. Doing something regularly each day that you enjoy, to take the mind away from life's hassles and give something to look forward to is important too. I read.
Having a beautiful partner and great family can be a blessing. May I ask if yu have told them of your feelings and what it is doing to you? Trying to continue in isolation is so very hard - often it may not be necessary.
Croix
