Someone to talk to

[ttguerra]

I know this is an Australian website, but i'm not Australian. I was looking for advice online and found this forum.

I'm a 24 yo gay man who's still in the closet and that's probably the cause of what i'm feeling right now.

I live in a country with a very strong macho culture, I was born a male I'm supposed to do what a male does, get married, have kids, continue with the family legacy. I've known I'm gay ever since I was 16 and I thought I was okay with that... apparently I am not. My family would never accept me by who I am.

I always make plans, but lately I haven't had the drive to. I wake up every day reasonless...

I just need someone to talk to.

[vip]

Hi ttguerra this is a very delicate and difficult issue for yourself please go and see a gp and get a referral to a psych you will need professional help here to talk through all these emotions and ways of letting people know around you who you really are you cant keep hiding all your life its not fair for you . I would say whoever cant accept the wonderful person you are then thats just too bad do this for yourself and get the help. take care

[geoff]

dear Ttguerra, welcome aboard.

This is a site that anyone can post a comment on, it's not just for hetersexual, it's for everyone, so please don't be afraid, there are no 'if's or but's' here, and we have had a number of gay and /or lesbians who have been in the same position as where you are now, and they may have trouble trying to assimilate, but it's open for all, so please post a comment when you feel ready to do so. Geoff.

[Chris_B]

Hi ttguerra, 

As a gay man myself, I can relate to what you are going through.  One of my good friends in New Zealand (where I’m from originally) is Malaysian-Chinese, and when he was growing up in Malaysia he went through exactly the same feelings as you with regard to feeling that he didn’t measure up to his culture’s expectation of what a man should be. 

His journey to coming out, finding acceptance, and (eventually) a partner came when he moved to New Zealand and he was able to experience a culture that was more accepting of homosexuality.  From there he was able to pull apart his feelings around not measuring up and reconcile both his cultural and his sexual identity.

While it was not easy at first, his parents did accept him coming out and he and his partner have been back to Malaysia to visit his family several times, and vice versa.  I’m not sure what country you are in, so it’s difficult to give you further advice.  

Generally in a country like Australia I wouldn’t advise going to see a doctor to help you come out unless you were experiencing severe anxiety or depression, because there are plenty of support groups specifically for gay men where you’re more likely to find an understanding ear – coming out is not in itself a clinical issue.

However, you may be in a country like Malaysia where homosexuality is illegal, so that complicates things.  If you feel safe enough to do so, then let us know where in the world you are and I can perhaps advise further. 

best
CB

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Online Community Manager