Social Visit Fatigue

BLACKDOGG66

I live by myself, and at times I do get lonely. I have recently had short visits (overnight) from both my son and best friend.

Don't get me wrong, I’m happy when they arrive, but not long after I wish they would go.

After they have departed though, I fall into terrible depression and feel adrift.

Does anyone else feel like that?

I have been diagnosed with Depression+, Anxiety+, cPTSD

trying_my_best

Hi @BLACKDOGG66

I actually know this feeling all to well myself. I feel lonely and all I want is some social interaction, but then once I’m hanging out with them I just feel exhausted. But then depending on the person I feel terrible after they leave because I feel like I “wasn’t giving enough”.

I just want to let you know that these feelings are completely and totally valid! What I did to mitigate this is set meetings up in my schedule that allow me recovery time or to hand out with them in a period that does me less exhaustion. I also found doing things for myself and by myself to be rather restorative. For me that looks like allowing myself to binge watch a TV show or watch a movie and craft. Or lately I’ve been going to the gym when I feel low, the movement releases endorphins! A walk can do this too!!

Wishing you the best 🫶

Ggrand

Hello Dear BLACKDOG66,

I can relate very well to what your saying….I live alone and at times loneliness gets very overwhelming….both my children and their families live hours away, my youngest son and dil usually visits me through his work’s holiday break At Christmas…for weeks I’m looking forward to their visit, looking forward to cooking something decent, getting their room prepared for them them..

On their arrival looking forward to a hello hug..(something I get once a year)…which I shed the tears of loneliness and of missing them…we chat about our lives and what’s been happening in his family…we are great for a day or maybe even two days, then I start to feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable with them being here and want to be left alone to my usual routine…when they leave I have mixed feelings…so deeply sad that they are going but also a bit pleased that I can be me again…(the me, that I have been since their fathers passing)…the life I had to learn to live on my own…and then fall into a deeper depression knowing how I felt again, when they visited…and not understanding why, because I love them so deeply.

You're feeling are valid and very common…depression, ptsd and anxiety is something I struggle with daily…and it’s hard to cope with them daily, especially when no support is here….I did do volunteer work for 10 years that helped with my mental health and loneliness….in most parts I enjoyed it…took away a couple of days of loneliness and being alone….Then I got sick around Christmas and had to leave…since then sitting at home daily, trying to find things to keep me mentally well has been difficult…but I’m doing my best, and that’s all anyone can do…

Do you work, or volunteer anywhere to get you out and to socialise a bit with people…no need to answer, unless you feel comfortable doing so….I think that living alone, getting set in our own routine is what we are comfortable with…then when family or visitors arrive, our routine gets broken and it’s very hard to adjust to something different and away from the routine we have created for ourselves….even if it’s an over night stay or longer….because we have to interact with them for the duration of their stay…..which interrupts our carefully strutted life or routine….

My kindest thoughts dear BLACKDOGG ,

Grandy..