severely depressed but I need to get my life together, how do I drop out?

[Blushx]

hi everyone, my name is solivan, I'm 17 (18 in 2 months) and this is my first time here

I have a lot wrong with me but it's not really relevant to the issue I need help with, and I didn't come here to try discuss it

but I am going to preface that for years ive just been plagued with challenges like my depression, anxiety, adhd, eating disorder, and bpd. Also yes I'm diagnosed, but that was over a ago and I'm no longer seeing a professional.

so my life has just completely spiraled to shit, I only saw a professional for 3 months and it was because I had a suicide attempt, but unfortunately my GP and psych both ghosted me when I came out of hospital after a second attempt.

my parents refuse to acknowledge my issues which is just great, and I'm in my final year of highschool (12) but I stopped attending just over a month ago because I can't handle it. Not just the workload? but my mental health in general has just completely sucked the life out of me

It's only 3 months until graduation but theres no way that I'll be able to complete all the overdue work and actually pass, I don't have the motivation and not being medicated for my adhd makes it worse. I'm so close to fixing all this shit, but I need to drop out.

legally I'm able to, since I'm 17, and my parents have agreed but I don't know how to do it because they're making me do it by myself.

my mum refuses to talk to the school because she's just embarrassed at my failure, so what do I do?

do I need to call my school and ask them for forms to sign something?? I don't want to talk with a counselor because I know I'm not changing my mind?? how do I figure this out myself??

god I just feel worse trying to find out what to do, i wish I could just google it but i literally have no idea and begging for help here is my last resort. For the past week my parents are getting frustrated and angry with me because they don't want to get emails about my absences, like wow thanks that totally makes me feel better about myself

and I guess I feel like they're making it about themselves, while I'm the one who feels like shit about not knowing what to do? even I don't have a choice but to figure this out on my own

sorry for rambling? idk i feel so much pressure since its so unnecessarily hard for me to handle this one simple thing that would finally help me get my life together

so if anyone can help me figure out how to officially do this i would actually cry from gratefulness 😕

[Sophie_M]

Hi BlushX,  We're really glad you could come to the forum to share what you're going through with our kind and supportive community, who can offer you advice and understanding. Many forum members have experience with some of the challenges you mention so we hope you find some comfort in their words.   Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we're worried about you. We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from the  mental health professionals at Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).   All of these options are available through webchat, if you'd prefer: 

• Beyond Blue 
• Kids Helpline 
• The Butterfly Foundation 
• Lifeline 

Once again, we want to thank you for sharing, it's a really brave thing to do. We don't want you to feel you have to deal with everything on your own, so please remember Beyond Blue and this online community is here for you. Do feel free to share more with us here on how you're feeling and what might help, if you feel up to it.  Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[quirkywords]

Blush x,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for explaining how you are feeling.
Sophie has suggested helpful resources.

Two points you may consider.

can you ask someone at the school you trust about whether there are special consideration during covid for students. I read the departments of education were making allowances because of covid so it maybe worth investigating.

Is there a school counsellor a year advisor you can talk to.?

Take care

[Summer Rose]

Hi Blushx

Welcome to the bb forum.

You certainly have a lot on your plate right now and I’m sorry that you’re not getting the support you need for your MH. I understand you don’t really want to talk about that, you want to talk about leaving school. So, let’s do that.

I would call the person you feel most comfortable talking to at your school, could be your year level coordinator, head of house, a teacher or the school counsellor. Call pre-school or just after school finishes to give you the best chance of reaching them.

You can ask for a meeting or talk over the phone. Explain what is happening for you.

Now I know you’ve made up your mind to leave but it never hurts to know your options in life. For example, you may be able to drop a subject or two and catch up on the remaining ones. You may be able to finish the year without sitting exams and getting an ATAR (the ATAR only matters if you want to keep the door open to University). You may be able to return next year when you’re feeling better to finish your subjects. All schools are a little different across the nation, so it’s at least worth knowing where you stand.

Then either take the time to think on it a bit or ask them how to officially withdraw.

My daughter has a MH condition and she also found year 12 really hard. You have the extra stress of Covid. So, please don’t despair. You are not alone and your school should have the experience to guide you through this.

Please feel free to post anytime. If I can help, I will.

Kind thoughts to you

[Petal22]

Hi Blushx,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you are feeling this way…..

Im sorry your mental health is causing you distress I totally understand……….. Have you thought about seeing another health professional?

I’m sorry year 12 has been hard for you…… I understand it would be stressful…….. along with your mental health condition aswell I understand how hard it would be……….

Just try to breathe……. Slow down and just breathe……… our breath is always there for us…. We can use it as an anchor……. Just slow it down and put your attention on your breath…….. when things inside you start to calm down you will be able to look at things with more clarity…….

I understand you want to drop out of school and that’s ok…… just give yourself that permission to be ok with that……

How do you go about it? Maybe just call the school on the phone and ask the lady at the front desk who would be the best person to talk to at the school about it? Maybe she could put you through to that person and you could discuss the options with them….

Everything will be ok …….. I’d highly recommend you do see a health professional, maybe start at your gp and let them know how you are feeling, you could do a mental health plan together and see a psychologist to help you to manage better…..

here to chat 😊

[Isabella_]

Hi Blushx,

Thank you for turning to the forums. I finished the HSC last year. My best friend had her own struggles with mental health, and similarly to you made the decision to leave school because she ended up getting so far behind, and ultimately couldn't handle the stress of high school at that point in her life.

I would strongly suggest emailing a teacher or year coordinator - they will walk you through the process of filling out forms and so on. It may be worth calling your schools front desk as most likely they're the ones who deal with enrolment and such.

I'm really sorry to hear about how your parents have been treating you. I can't understand how they can be so dismissive of you when you're clearly going through so much, and they're expecting you to deal with all of it on your own. It's more than unfair. Even more so, I'm really sorry to hear about your experience with your GP and psychologist.

I hope after leaving school you'll take the time to focus on your mental health. You'll have the time and freedom to become independent - work a job that you want, study a tafe course or short courses on things you are interested in. Ultimately, I hope that you will be able to reach out for professional help in the future, get tested for ADHD if you think you have it, and importantly, surround yourself with people who are there to support you and your mental health. Your BPD shouldn't just remain untreated because of your parents.

I hope I've helped in some way, and I'd love to hear from you. You're at a confusing time in your life right now, and hopefully I can help as someone close to your age.

Much love.