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Sad.

nib
Community Member
I used to be very close to my cousin (as a child), and now they have since become one of the "popular girls." We are both young adults now. I want to catch up with her but she acts like she's too good for me now, whereas previously we would spend time together all the time. I have tried to discuss my feelings about this to her but she became argumentative. Her mother has never liked me for reasons unknown. She has a cousin who doesn't like me, again for reasons unknown, who has caused so much drama towards our family to the point my mother has had to report her to the police. I just miss the old girl she used to be.
7 Replies 7

Petal22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi nib,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you miss your cousin that must be difficult for you……. I understand you have tried to talk to her but she becomes argumentative…..

Maybe you could send her message letting her know how much you miss her and you want to be friends….. maybe you could both slowly work on your relationship…..

If you find it difficult to work on the relationship try to focus on the people who want to be in your life 😊

here to chat

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Nib, and a warm welcome to the site.

I agree with Petal22, and remember there will always be a time when she herself will be looking for advice, this may happen quietly because she may not trust her friends at some point.

Her mother and the cousin who doesn't like you may be feeding gossip to make sure she also doesn't like you, but being good friends a while ago, hopefully, will be enough for the friendship to eventually return.

Do you know why all of a sudden she has become popular and if you are both still at school, then this may change when school finishes, so if you can let us know.

Many thanks.

Geoff.

MBL
Community Member

Hi Nib,

I am sorry you are having a hard time! It is so, so difficult when you are growing up and how the relationships and people around you change so much. Just remember not to take things personally! People often project their own issues and insecurities on others, especially those we are closest with. I have found that a lot of the issues I have had in my life with people have nothing to with me, rather, they use me as a reflection of their own troubles and a verbal punching bag.

Stay strong, don't let other peoples issues put you down. We cant control how other people feel, but we can always control how we react and what we choose to take on.

Miz
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Nib,

I'm sorry you've been having a rough time - it sounds like the change in relationships has really upset you. I completely understand how heartbreaking it can be when someone you were previously close with starts changing. I think it's always important to remember that it's not a reflection on you or your values and more a sign of natural changes in social circles. It's also completely natural for relationships to change over time and unfortunately a lot of our childhood friends don't last

If you've tried talking to her and she insists on being argumentative and hurting you I suggest maybe giving the relationship a little break and focusing on the people around you who make you feel good. Remeber it's important that you look after your wellbeing first!

Lots of love to you

Leo899616
Community Member

Hi Nib,

Sometimes friendships drift apart, for so many reasons. It's a very sad reality and they can sometimes be worse than a breakup to get over. Just remember it is completely normal to feel the way you are feeling, especially considering you weren't just friends but you're also family. These feelings will pass with time and if you have already tried to speak to her about how you're feeling, perhaps you should try to spend your time making new friends and more time with your existing ones who do still care for you.

You are worth the time and love that the right people will shower you with, so don't get yourself too down about someone who is more worried about the opinion of others than the love of her friend.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

- Leo

nib
Community Member

Hey Petal22,

I understand where you are coming from, but I really do not see a point in simply befriending my own cousin anymore. We are both in out mid twenties and it just isn't worth the drama anymore. Although, I do need to make a purchase from the store she works at. So, maybe we could have a quick chat then? (whenever that may be?)

nib
Community Member
Hi geoff,

It’s just hard. I want to do awesome things with my cousin but she has become someone I don’t want to affiliate with, if that makes sense? More specifically, it is her mother and cousin that make me not want to have contact with her [my cousin]. It is shame, really.

We did not go to the same school as one another, so I honestly would not have a clue as to how she became so popular to begin with. I think her mother is the kind of mother who picks and chooses who she is allowed to hang out with. I don’t know. It just seems that way to me.