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Relationship ended 12 hours later lost my best friend (cat)

GrievingGirl
Community Member

I’m struggling a lot. My boyfriend and I ended out three year relationship (amicably) on Sunday. We just weren’t the one for each other. Regardless he was my best friend and the one I always sought support and comfort from. I left at 9pm Sunday night.
9am Monday morning, 12 hours later, I took my precious 10 year old cat to the vet for a check up. I only recused her two months prior but she was a shining life changing beacon and lit up my whole life. 10 minutes into the appointment the vet told me she had aggressive cancer, was in significant pain and suffering, and there was nothing to be done for her. It was completely unexpected. I held her in my arms while she took her last breath and let her go that morning.
I knew my boyfriend and I would break up that weekend. We had both planned it and wanted to spend quality time together to just enjoy the good parts before we went out separate ways. I had no idea my little cat was unwell and I would have to end her life that morning. It was 12 hours only after breaking up. It hurts because if it has been 12 hours earlier my best friend would have been there with me and comforted me and supported me through the grief. But we broke up so he’s not. I told him what had happened and he was sorry but didn’t want to be involved or change things.
Im struggling ALOT to just function. Eating, drinking, using the toilet, sleeping, socialising, thinking. Life just seems completely and utterly impossible.
I don’t have a lot of friends and don’t have family aside from my mum, who lives interstate. She’s helping as just as she can but I’m just so lost and feel alone in this grief. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be grieving, my beautiful cat who was my family, or the loss of my relationship.
I don’t really know what to expect here. Am i overreacting and being too dramatic?
2 Replies 2

Wendy2010
Community Member
GrievingGirl, I believe you may be in shock due to the loss of your furry friend, as you are very fragile immediately after a life-change such as a relationship breakdown. Sometimes we underestimate the sheer magnitude of changes such as these, in that they really do rock your world. Know this, you will feel better soon. Do not be in a hurry to socialise, make big decisions, or try new things; as physically and mentally you are depleted in energy right at the moment. Be kind to yourself, talk to yourself first thing in the morning and remind yourself that you are braver than you might think, and stronger than you seem. Take a break for a couple of days, weeks even. Turn the phone off for at least a couple of hours, and don't feel like you have to explain the way you feel to anyone; you can reflect on it later when you feel ready. Be artistic, creative to help you vent your feelings, and send a prayer to your kitty cat, whom you will never forget; because real love never dies. Blesses to you, sweetheart. Keep in touch with us here, anytime.

MyLadyGirl
Community Member

Hello GrievingGirl,

I am so sorry to hear about your Cat. I have lost my dog that I was with us for 15 years and when he died it was so devastating and heat broken. It's like a best friend had left me. I understand what your going through and pets are human companion that cannot be replaced. It's where they give you love like no human gives you. They are always there to cherish and be your companion. It will be hard to let go your cat at the moment. Think of the happy time that you share with her. It's will take time but the wound will heal.

I know things are hard for you and your struggling but that should not allow you to stop seeing what a wonderful person you are. After struggling with many relationship, I come to realised that if things do not work out it is for good reason. Probably your friend and you rush into things that made you realised that he was just to be your friend only. It's his lost loosing a great friend like you. He did not understand what a great person you were and besides the complication that you both are having he should understand that you were grieving and just needed a friend. But that's ok. We are here for you. You can talk to us by sharing your thoughts.

I also have not a lot of friend either mabe we can talk anything that is disturbing and feel like talking too..

MyLadyGirl