Rejected again, feeling upset and lonely

[Dwings]

Hi all

Some of you may have seen posts in another thread and I thought Id share whats been happening recent times

I have been single for a very long time, in fact too long, up until say 2019 I refused to use dating sites. At the beginning of the year, I met someone online chatted every day and we went on a couple of dates. I thought everything was fine, after the second date this girl still kept in contact with me but I didnt hear from her for a few days then I found out that she deleted my contact on this dating app, indicating she wasnt interested in me without any reason. This made me feel upset and angry. I questioned myself why this happened, as it happened in 2019 quite a number of times

Fast forward to later in the year, where I didnt really try and look for a date but then this girl messaged me on Tinder and we started chatting every day, really good conversations which gave me quite a bit of hope. Then I didnt hear from her for about a month but she later explained she needed some time off to herself. Once she was ok, we starting chatting again and the conversations between us were great. She was so nice, she made feel so good inside, I had so much hope. Despite being in lockdown I was feeling positive every day and I thought that maybe we could meet up eventually. We did a zoom chat recently but I felt so nervous that I couldnt say much, I did explain this to her and she said she was nervous too. We chatted after a couple of days but then I didnt hear from her again. I thought maybe something had happened to her or needed time out like before. But last night I checked my messages and they no longer exist, which means she has cut ties with me, just like what happened earlier in the year. Ghosted without saying goodbye and no reason why she left.

This really upset me as I had feelings for this girl. I didnt sleep much last night and I dont think I'll get over this.

It keeps happening every single time. All day today I felt depressed upset and angry. I am at the point where I should accept that I'll never meet the one and accept that I'll continue to have this miserable life, because no one would clearly be interested in me.

I have no one else to talk to.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Dwings, 
Thank you for sharing this update with us here. We're so glad to hear that things are slowly improving for you and wanted to acknowledge your bravery for seeking help when you needed it. This message is so important; no matter how dark it may seem, please reach out - we are all worthy of support, kindness and care.  As you mentioned, if anyone here is struggling, know that you are not alone. Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are available 24/7, 365 days a year.

[james1]

Hey Dwings,

It's nice to hear from you again and I just wanted to really thank you for sharing what happened late last year. I am really glad that you found help both in strangers, and from your friends and family who you were really hesitant to reach out to. It sounds like that was a really pleasant surprise and I'm grateful that you've shared this, because it's something that many others, including myself, have also experienced. Especially after some bad experiences, it can be easy to think that nobody cares or wants to help, but I've often found it's more a case of not finding the right people. I think there is always someone out there who can and wants to help, and we're never truly alone.

I hope 2022 has started off well for you Dwings, and feel free to post here whenever you'd like.

James

[shinta]

Hi Dwings,  I stumbled across your post and I created an account just to reply to u. Because I feel for you, because I know how u must have felt, the helplessness, because it’s something you have no control over and there was no closure at the end for you, and I think it is worst than just losing a friend itself.  The no warning, no control over, no closure, and that feeling sucks, and I want u to know that, even tho it happens over and over again, it is not necessarily be you…these things happens to people in regular basis. And in online dating, many people are not really who they claimed themselves to be.  Most likely, from the sound of it, the girls you talked to might be in a relationship already with someone, maybe they are living with their boyfriend but unhappy in their relationship therefore they look for something to fill their loneliness by chatting with another person, to fill that void, and it’s more convenient to do that with someone online because their chance of getting caught or have the extra drama from their infidelity are smaller if the other guy is online.  If they cheat at their work place for instance, it’s easier to get caught and the other person could drop by and she will be caught red handed but online, they just log out and delete their account.  So it’s not because they don’t like u, it’s because you haven’t met the right person that is there to look for the one .  Anyway, I u seestand where u coming from but please know that i doubt the reason why these girls disappeared is because anything wrong with u. Or else there won’t be an ongoing chats , they would disappear from the start. So pls feel better. 🙂 something will turn up.