Really struggling

[SilverLight]

Over the last 5 months Ive been through absolute hell. I found out on the 8th of October that I had fallen pregnant with a very much wanted and planned baby. A week later I had a bleed along with high fevers that we were told there was a hematoma (tumour/clot) next to the baby. Three days later I was in emergency surgery for appendicitis. It then turned out my appendix was full of cancer. I had to have a major bowel reconstruction surgery while 12 weeks pregnant. After my operation my lower body shut down and I went into the shock and was uncontrollably vomitting to the point the hospital couldn't help me. On top of all of this I have Hypermesis Gravidarum. Im so freaking depressed and I am struggling to continue wanting this baby. I try to tell me family that there are so many days that I can't get off the couch and they just tell me to pull myself together and get on with it. I've got a toddler to care for as well and most days I barely have the energy to take proper care of him never mind the whole house and hubby too. It's no bloody wonder so many people just give up 😭 I've got a psychology appointment tomorrow with my birthing hospital and I'm so bloody desperate for it to help 😭

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I can’t imagine your current struggles. Well done in writing in.

All of us with mental challenges do forget what life is like once our depression drifts away or our bipolar moods subside or our physical wounds heal. So try to be positive that things will improve.

I can’t help wondering if your husband has increased his home workload to relieve you of some chores? Regardless, it’s “me time” for you, wind back to battendown the hatches and preserve all of you strength for your toddler and baby...and you.

You seem a really good mum so hang onto that and lower your expectations of yourself- in effect, STOP, breathe and rest.

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TonyWK

[CactusCookie]

That sounds like a matryoshka doll of awful.

The kind thing to say is that your family must not understand how much you need help, or what they can do. The unkind thing to say is that you should definitely go vomit on them until they start helping.

With all of my powers as a stranger on the internet, I one-hundred-percent support you to lower the goal posts. If something is dirty but hasn’t grown legs and run off yet, it’s clean enough. Pyjamas? New household dress code. Toast is a very versatile food suitable for many meals. Wave the toddler in the general direction of the free fruit basket at woolies and it will have more nutrition than kids 100 years ago could even dream of. Put your husband and toddler in daycare and luxuriate on that couch with your favourite movie. You don’t need to pull yourself together and get on with it, you’re already busy growing a human!

Wishing you peace of mind, a still stomach and as much help as you can muster.