Really need a new way of thinking.

[Muddypuddles22]

Im finding it really hard to keep up my full time job because I dont really find much joy in it anymore and I get treated horribly as a trainee. I dont think im right for the job because im always being judged and laughed at because im not that strong or confident.
I want a different life.
I tried to talk to my bosses and supervisors about how im going outside of work and how this job is really affecting me and they dont know what to do or how to help.
I dont really find much joy in anything anymore. I get only a few hours of sleep a week. I feel guilty and ashamed to be around friends and family because of my constant mood.
I just really want to be somebody else.
I've tried to get help and nothing has worked, medicine makes me worse and alcohol just brings everything to the surface and I breakdown and shut everyone out.
I dont know what I can do.
Im only 20 but I really dont see myself feeling better anytime soon.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Its great you have identified a number of issues and you’d like a different life. Believe it- many don’t even get that far.

I tried 12 tablets before I found one that agreed with me- persist, it is worth it.

Medication alone isn’t enough, therapy, soul searching, friendships and employment all are things we need to fine tune to get to our goals.

People with mental illness issues imo are better off with two or three part time jobs than one full time. Less hours with the same people.

Other people won’t understand your issues. Google-

beyondblue topic they just won’t understand- why?

Relaxation is paramount to your routine. Google

beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

1,5,10 years plans is a good idea. Eg country living is recommended, it might take a long time but part of a long term plan.

Friendships- learn to insulate yourself. Google

beyondblue topic fortress of survival

Please continue posting so we can learn more about you and your challenges

TonyWK

[Cassie07]

Hi, recently I have been feeling really pessimistic but I don't know how to change it. (By the way I'm not going to start self harm or commit suicide, just thinking)

Just after self isolation started, I starting really thinking about this, whats the point?

I feel like there is no point to go on. We are all going to die anyways so whats the point of living? Nothing really matters because its all going to go away. It doesn't even matter if we make a huge impact on this world, because we are going to be forgotten- the human species is going to go extinct some time in the future- even if its really far away- the whole universe will drift apart and there will be no light. So there is no point to earth even existing let alone me- a tiny little speck in this giant universe. I sometimes feel like us humans shouldn't exist either- there is so much suffering that it would be better off without anything at all.

I feel like there isn't a point to keep on struggling with good grades, keeping up with friends and exercising because I am going to die anyways.

I kinda just want to give up.

[Muddypuddles22]

Thanks, I'm trying really hard and I'm ginna try some of your suggestions because I'm pretty desperate for some solutions at this point.

Means a lot that you replied

[Muddypuddles22]

I think about it all the time, It feel like I can't find enjoyment in anything because jts not really going to benefit me or others in the end. I like seeing friends and family happy, that's kinda the only thing that's keeping me going at this point.
I appreciate the reply and hope we can figure it out together

[Real_life]

Hey there, I finally decided to write today & speak out about my own troubles with work. I had similar issues & decided after 6 years to leave. The scars & effects are long term, have faith in yourself & don't let this take you down. The feelings you have are because your unhappy & feel worthless. Honestly not the right environment to be in, you will be able to find somewhere else to work & you will feel much better, you will apply yourself & get rest ! But the first step would be to remove yourself from that environment.

If you have already taken the major step to approach your boss & discuss the issue & nothing was done, you can also contact Fair Work & explain to them your situation. You are able to report these incidents, you will be listened to. I felt more empowered when I knew my rights & spoke to someone with more knowledge. Also from experience, its better to try address the issue again via email as it is proof. When you write the email make sure you mention the face to face meeting you had prior. With this email it is kept as a record with a time & date stamp to keep, as with a face to face meeting nothing is recorded (he said she said situation).

Here are some helpful links;

https://www.fairwork.gov.au/employee-entitlements/bullying-and-harassment

https://www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/bullying

(You can also call either & they are able to keep a record of when you called).

To end this, you are a trainee ready to work & learn new skills, don't let these people in the way of your path. I give you well wishes & good luck, you can do it !

[Croix]

Dear Cassie07~

I'd like to greet you here to the forum and would like to reply to your first post, however the reply is in two parts.

The first is your feeling that everything is pointless as everything come to an end. Undoubted true, entropy ensures this for universes as well as people. Frankly I felt exactly that way when I was starting to get in the grip of depression, however as my illness became better my enthusiasm and ability to enjoy increased.

Have you ever wondered why you laugh at something, appreciate a piece or art, or take satisfaction in doing something well? Why making the very best of something, be it a cake, a Fabergé egg or a car, is important?

Things have importance in their own right, and the fact that all ends in time is in a way irrelevant.

We could talk about this more, and I'm pretty sure others will have their views too, hopefully mainly positive.

OK, now for the other half. I'm afraid you have started to post in some else's thread, in this case one belonging to Muddypuddles22. Now this is no big deal but causes confusion (you can see Real Life's answer is not in response to you though addressed to you)

The answer is your own thread, which is something we all have. You choose a title that reflects what you want to talk about and make the thread, then put a post in starting the conversation. Others will see it and join in.

If you are unsure how to make a thread I'd suggest the Forum FAQ Where Sophie_M has pictures to describe the process

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/the-forum-faq-thread-

I'll look out for you as you make one, if you get stuck just ask for help, it is in fact quite easy.

Thanks

Croix