Press post this time

[Lost_drifter]

I've been Writing for days but just can't press post. Maybe this time? So hard to share this. The find it hard to talk about.

just so tired of everything and it seems I'm spending a lot of time fighting to keep going but, you know, now I'm tired. I can't cope with it like this. I'm worn out. I worry I'm getting weaker. I usually walk sometimes an hour or more when I'm getting bad, 2 or 3 times a day some days, to try and get away from house. That helps sometimes. Not tonight.

I'm in a dark room shaking, crying just feeling pressure from everything. I can't tell my family I'm not I'm just shaking more at the thought. I go to my doc with serious health problems but can't get the courage to tell him about this. Sit there with my phone and numbers but just can't ring. I know I need help I know I do but I don't know why i can't ask. how do I ask for help? I know who but can't get the courage. Small town so not a lot of help here. I just need to take the step. Maybe this time will be the next step?

[BballJ]

Hi Lost drifter,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Well done for posting your story and it's great that you have reached out for help which seems like it has been a problem for you, this is an amazing step towards recovery and feeling better. Mental health is so hard to talk about face to face, I had anxiety for over 10 years before I decided to front up and admit I had it to my family and then to a GP. One thing I would like to encourage you with is the fact once you tell someone face to face and start receiving the right help, the weight that comes off your shoulders is amazing. It is hard to answer the question "how do I ask for help" the answer really is within you and when you finally come to realise you need the help you will ask, like you are doing here. One thing you can do is write down how you are feeling and take it to your GP and get them to read it... it's like avoiding telling them face to face but then they will finally understand and be able to offer assistance.

The other thing you can do is call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 who are available 24/7 to speak about anything you are feeling, again is speaking on the phone is hard they also have an online chat on this website from 3 pm - 12 am 7 days a week, so that may be an option. Another thing you could do is look around the forums and find the posts about other people dealing with depression or anxiety and read their stories.

Please post back as much as you like.

My best for you,

Jay

[blondguy]

Hello Lost Drifter

Jay (BballJ) has written an excellent post above with great advice

I understand that you are doing it hard at the moment. Asking for help can be difficult until we actually make that step and Jay mentioned seeing your GP is crucial to you finding some peace right now.

You may be surprised but these feelings are extremely common and your GP has heard it all before many times

Ive had chronic anxiety followed by depression for many years and feel the anguish you are going through

there are many caring people on the forums that also experience similar issues that can be here for you

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[pawsy]

Oh hello Lost drifter. I just want to say good on you for pressing post! Now you have told someone! This is a massive step towards getting help. I have just recently been in a similar situation to you. I know all about sitting with the phone and the numbers and not ringing. My oath. I’ve been in trouble for years but not talked to anyone about it.
Recently I posted on here, got advice and went to my GP, scared I wouldn't be able to speak to her but managed to, and she was great. Got a referral to a psychologist, put off ringing him coz i was scared. Finally got in touch, met him. He was great. They are helping me and things are slowly coming good. I completely understand your feeling of being overwhelmed by pressure from everything. It is really unbearable. By posting here you have asked for help and It is a fantastic step to have taken. I’d encourage you to to do as Jay suggests. Make an appointment to see your GP and take a print out of what you wrote here with you. That's what I did (I think Jay gave me the same advice!). I didn't read it out. But I did speak, and once I managed to blurt something out the doc was super helpful and I didn't have to worry anymore.

Best of luck, keep posting. Would love to hear more from you no matter what happens next. from pawsy

[RandR]

Hello Lost drifter,

It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and acknowledge you might need some support and to hit post, so well done for allowing yourself to be vulnerable and heard.

It took me over 8 years to finally admit to myself that i had major depression and to finally reach out. That feeling of being all alone in a dark room shaking is also something I was all to familiar with. But then I remember all of the good things, the caring people, the personal hobbies and passions and the amazing times before I had depression. I thought I could handle myself, and that to be left alone in the darkness and in my head was the only way forward and only option....but in reality that's not true at all. It's surprising how much help is really out there if your search, and you've clearly done that.

Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a a different result. But you've taken the first step and that's a start, and a very positive one. There's that age old saying that time heals all wounds, and I know that to be the case with my depression. It won't happen overnight, or in a week or even perhaps a month. But some steps, one after the other gets you closer to bringing light into that dark room you mentioned in your post.

I look forward to the next post and step you take 🙂

Regards,

Raman.