Hi Mumof2 and welcome to the forums 😊
Where to start!? I have 2 kids. 15 months apart. Have been where you are sobbing in the kitchen (and planning how to end it) and somedays having panic attacks and sitting in a ball on the kitchen floor. It sucks. Add no support and a spouse working long shifts (yep mine too shift work as well bleh) and it's a recipe for disaster.
It can get better.
For now forget hubby. If he is dismissing how you feel seek help elsewhere. Because it is not ok to feel like this all the time. Being a parent sucks. I'm just saying what everyone keeps polite about. It sucks. Yes there is responsibility. We no longer can just meet our own needs. BUT that doesn't mean you have to dissapear as a person and meet everyone needs but your own.
I absolutely loathed the psychologist giving me solutions because none of them were practical for ME. So I'll ask you to think of these questions instead and find things that are realistic and possible in your circumstances....
Examine your support options. What is there you could use?
- Family.
- Spouse's family
- Friends.
- Daycare.
- Babysitter.
- Anywhere with a creche (gym, swimming pool, IKEA... Bonus many are free).
- Mother's groups/playgroups.
- Women's health care places (ask your community midwife).
- Library (baby rhyme time classes).
Find options. There will be something that will be financially practical and will give you a little break. It is hard work but search and ask. Then make an agreement for a regular break from the kids (once a week even). You need this!
Examine your own health.
- Have you seen your GP about the anxiety and low mood? Time to book a long appointment.
- How is your diet looking?
- Have you got any sun lately? Being indoors all the time with bub you can forget how nice it is to get fresh air. Blanket on the lawn and an umbrella and let bub have nudie rudie tummy time in the shade while you play with your little one.
- Should you check in with the community midwife and have a chat? Maybe do the postnatal depression check again. Find out your options locally. Ask about anything like breastfeeding or sleep.
- Sleep. Are you getting any? With a toddler and a baby (congratulations by the way) I got none. You need sleep. How do you feel about picking up a nap when the kids sleep?
