Postnatal...want it to stop

[Slottx]

I could not love my child more.. but i cry all the time.

Im angry at my husband because no matter what he does i feel he doesnt truly understand what im going through.

I know my hormones are running wild.. but i want to enjoy this time with my baby but im so sad all the time.. jelous my husband gets to go to work.

When will this feeling stop?

Sometimes it brings in anxity when he leaves to go to work because i know ill be emotional all day and sad... why is this so hard.

How do i get a stubborn man to understand what im going through... so much to postnatal...

[Kid_in_denial]

Hi there.

Let me start by saying welcome. Thanks for sharing, I know it is not easy.

I too have been through postnatal depression. Started as postnatal anxiety and spiraled into a huge mess from there.

How old is bub? It is very challenging having a baby. We have the expectation that it is going to be the most joyful time of our lives, but it really has a lot of tough components. Have you seen your GP? Recognising there is a problem is the beginning of a promising recovery. I too enjoyed my baby so took me a while to understand what it meant to have postnatal anxiety.

I cannot answer how to get your partner to understand. Be as open as honest with him and with yourself as possible. It is ok to not be ok. Cannot stress that enough. My advice would be to build yourself a community of people who can help you take care of yourself. Sleep is so important. It is the biggest contributing factor to my downfall. Let the chores go. Aim to do a tiny bit a day (if you can't get to it then it will still be there tomorrow) and take any offers for help you get. All those people who offer help do so with intent to help. Even if it is watching bub so you can have a shower. Your partner may never understand. He may just need a good push in the right direction. Who knows. Generally - and I am sorry boys, they don't get it like we do. Mums know best.

I cannot say when but I can promise you it gets better. I was stuck in a loop where I thought I would be depressed forever. Here I am on the other side. My bub is 17 months old.

Most of all BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Take time to get some sunlight and some time to yourself - be it 15mins, away from baby and partner and breathe.

Here anytime you would like to talk.

S

[Quercus]

Hi Slottx and welcome,

Have you had a chance to speak to your community midwife or GP? It would be good to make a long appointment and go have a honest talk about feeling so low. You can find the K10 checklist (that depression questionaire they make you do all the time while you're pregnant) on the BB website. It might be work doing that and taking it with you to the GP.

Kid in denial made solid points about taking care of yourself and building a support network. Absolutely vital. Being a mum is really difficult. I found the transition to having a little person I was responsible for utterly overwhelming. I don't know why we don't seem to ever take people up on their offers of help. Next time someone asks you say yes please.

Also... Check out your local women's health care places. They often have low cost counselling for new mums as well as information on the practical support groups and activites available in your area. It is so important to get out of the house and to do things for yourself.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I really hope you can sit down with hubby and make a plan for how to organise more support for you.

I hope you are able to write more and let us know how you are going.

Nat

[Kid_in_denial]

Hi,

Just wanted to check in and see if you're ok? Hope so.

S