Postnatal depression

[Allenthecat]

I'm new here. I feel like I am having a post natal depression. I have a 2 months old baby. Feeling shit all the time. Tried to book an appointment to my GP but cancelled it because i don't really want to talk about my feelings may be somehow i am ashamed about how i feel. Feeling shit for no reason. Sometimes i feel like I just want to give up for no reason again. I don't know. Just feeling alone and lonely and need this thing out from my chest..

[jess334]

Hi Allenthecat,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue Forums, I hope you find the support and connection here that I have.

It sounds like you're having a really tough time. I suffered the same feelings with my son for the first 18 months of his life. I really struggled to talk to someone about it because I felt guilty for the way I was feeling and was so scared that someone was going to take him away from me because of my thoughts.

When my son was about 4 months old, I had really bad day. I called my mum and begged her to come and take him away. I just wanted to sleep and feel 'normal' for a few hours. She did, and I finally got some uninterrupted sleep, but that experience scared me so much that I called my GP and eventually ended up seeing a psychologist.

It really helped to chat with someone about what I was feeling AND for them to tell me that it was all completely normal. Yes - parents with postnatal depression do have thoughts about wanting to give up, they do have thoughts about wanting to be a non-mum. Plus - there is help out there and you don't have to keep feeling that way.

My partner also had post-natal depression and saw a psychologist for a little while. It also really helped him, being able to talk about how his life had changed with someone who wasn't involved in the situation.

If you don't want to talk to your GP or you can't wait for an appointment with a psychologist (I had to wait 12 weeks! and that was over two years ago and not in the middle of a pandemic), give PANDA a call on 1300 726 306. Their National Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline is great and really helped me connect to other parents who had felt the same. You don't need to tell them everything you are feeling, but just connecting with another parent who has gone through the same thing can be really beneficial.

I hope you find some help from posting on here, Jess

[quirkywords]

Welcome Alleenthe cat to the forum.

Well done for reaching out and making your first post.

It is a difficult time with a new born especially if you don't feel well.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are very tired and working hard.

any new mums feel like you do. Do you have a family member or a friend you can talk to.

There are organisations to help.

Gidget Foundation Australia is a not for profit organisation supporting the emotional wellbeing of expectant and new parents to ensure that those in need receive timely, appropriate and supportive care.

https://gidgetfoundation.org.au/

If you like have a look at the website and it may be possible to talk to someone over the phone.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Feel free to post here as much as you like.

[Allenthecat]

Hello Jess,


I guess I don't have a choice. I know I need help. Finally booked an appointment with my GP for next week. I have a very supportive partner but sometimes it's not enough. It is so tiring feeling cranky and drained all day. My emotions is not stable at the moment. Thank you for taking time to reply. It's just nice to know that I am not the only one struggling with emotion. It sucks. I can't wait to be myself again.

[jess334]

Hi Allenthecat,

I'm so glad you've made an appointment to get help.

I hope you are yourself again soon.

If you need to keep talking through stuff we are always here.

Jess

[Jesmika]

Hi Allenthecat,

You are 100% not alone. Thank you for posting this topic. I have just sign up to this forum in the hope to find someone else feeling the same as me. I have a 5 month old and have previously had high anxiety. My doctor and I had a discussion before bub came along knowing I may end up with postnatal depression. I had put some things in place to try to prevent this from happening. Things like going to the gym every morning. I'd pop bub into the creche for an hour and work on myself. It was working until this whole lockdown happened, and it broke my routine. I knew it had affected me, but not as much as I realised. On Monday, I absolutely broke down, after doing something as small mixing up the day and thinking a had a mums group zoom call when I didn't. So, I made a telehealth appointment with my doctor and she called me back that afternoon. I've started some medication again (stopped previously due to bub) and put some other measures in place. Like getting up in the morning, having a shower, getting dressed and doing my hair, regardless if I plan on going out for the day or not. I went for my first walk with bub on Thursday and it made me feel good. I find that a routine really helps me. I have grabbed a calendar and highlight walk days and on the other days, there is either a zoom meeting with someone or just a note to go and grab a take away coffee for the morning. So now i have something planned for each day to look forward too.

I hope this gives you some ideas. Please have a chat with your doctor, it really helped me look forward rather than think I was just stuck inside everyday sleep deprived with a baby with no one thinking of me and feeling not worth it. xo.

[Meowface]

Hi and welcome. I haven't logged on in awhile but needed to today. I have been struggling again with depression from about 6 months post partum, it has escalated in recent weeks and my bubs turns 1 next week. I would say please look after yourself and get the help you need earlier rather than later. Looking back, I can see the signs well before I spoke to my GP. I kept ignoring them and pushing them away. They've only gotten worse for me. I have started medication this week so am hoping to feel better soon. On a positive note, I really like Jesmika's suggestions about having a routine and a diary to mark activities. I have struggled with the blur of long days with an often unsettled baby and limited outings. My own tip would be listening to podcasts - I enjoy "Happy Mum Happy Baby". She interviews a whole range of Mums with different experiences but they are honest about how hard motherhood is, and they don't trigger me (like a lot of the perfect motherhood images on Instagram do). Thanks for posting about this and I hope you post back and let us know how you are going.

[Allenthecat]

Hello there. I am on medication now. I can feel the difference with how i felt lately. My counsellor said I have PTSD symptoms and depression. Trying to do walks every day . Not enjoying it at the moment but hopefully i get the feeling of enjoyment soon. It is nice to know that I am not the only mum struggling with shitty emotions.

[jess334]

Hi Allenthecat,

That's great that your medication is making a difference already and that you got a proper diagnosis.

I hope you start enjoying your walks soon

Jess

[Meowface]

So good to bear from you again and glad you are feeling better already. I am also noticing a difference too since starting medication and have an appointment with a psychologist next week. Take care of yourself!