People from school keep indirectly telling me to do better, but they never directly explained to me exactly what it is that I am doing wrong. I want to be a nice person, and I try to be, but it's really hard figuring out what the problem is when people are very vague about it.
They indirectly tell me...
That I'm vain, superficial and socially fake, but don't explain how/what it is that I'm doing that makes me so.
That I'm stubborn, but don't explain how.
That I'm unforgiving
That I only want what's best for me
That I lack warmth and humility
That I'm materialistic
That I'm pretentious
That I believe in stereotypes
That I'm manipulative (I've looked this word up many times, but still don't get it, but it's definitely something that I wouldn't want to be because apparently, it's sort of like controlling people in a really mean way?) I also don't know how exactly I am doing this though or what it means.
That I'm heartless - If you're going to call someone this especially, PLEASE explain what exactly they are doing that makes them this because nobody wants to be like this.
That I don't say please and thank you - I use to not do this a lot for a stage when I was a teenager when I was using another forum, but I realized I was being rude and it probably didn't make people feel good even though they were helping me so I started doing it again so I don't see how I am still doing this? There have been times other than when I used that site when it didn't occur to me to say thank you, but it wasn't because I didn't appreciate them. I struggle a lot socially so sometimes I will think "that was nice what that person did for me" and then think "Oh, I probably should have said thank you." I say it when it occurs to me though, because I want people to know that I appreciate what they've done for me.
That I don't let others have opinions - again, no examples given.
That I'm jealous of others instead of just being envious and using that to get better - I don't know how I'm still acting jealous?
That I'm unfriendly
Selfish
Hypocritical
Etc...
If you're going to tell someone these things, but don't explain to them how they are doing these things/acting this way, it kind of defeats the purpose.
And when I politely ask them if they could please explain how I am only caring about material things or what stereotypes I believe in for example, they just get mad at me.
It's really hard to stop doing something wrong when you don't know exactly what it is that you are doing wrong.
