NOTHING WILL HELP

[thehiss]

I've been a depression victim for several years but the last couple of weeks have been awful since I have stopped taking my AD. I feel like I'm living the same day over and over again doing the same things at home and wasting my life away. I can't really go out by myself because of my anxiety and have to keep relying on my mum to take me places which is unfair on her. As it stands I'm so bleak and down and horrible it feels like no therapy, place, people, things or medication will ever help me, like I'm never going to get on top of this. I keep thinking about other people that are out enjoying their lives doing their own things feeling happy and I often wonder how they do it. I have been talking to my GP and Psychiatrist about it but its like they don't really understand. I have an appointment with a new Psychologist next week but I am kind of dreading it because it will just be the same stuff, I explain to them how I feel but they really don't understand. Has anyone else experienced this kind of situation?

[Guest_1055]

Hello thehiss

Welcome to Beyond Blue.

It does sound like you are struggling quite a bit. I have experienced some of the same as you, mainly the feeling of wasting my life away. Like you want your life to mean something. So you are not alone in that regard. And yeah, when you are feeling real depressed it is a challenge to enjoy things in your life. That is common with people who have depression. Because it just clouds everything. What I try to do here, is just simply write and write down what you are thankful for. Have you tried that? Sometimes it helps.

Have you seen the resources here, that you can download? If you haven't, you may find something useful. Just scroll down to the end of this web page and click on depression and/ or anxiety

I was wondering why you had come of the AD? I am guessing it probably still is a bit in your system. I don't take them, but maybe it takes your body a bit to adjust or something?

I have also heard it may take a bit to get the right physiologist, one you can sort of click with. If you find it easier to write rather than speak, maybe you could write out how you feel, and give it to them.

Will you post back?

Love

Shelley x

[thehiss]

Hi Shelley anne

Thanks for the reply. It is much easier writing down everything I feel (It's a long list) this way I can take my time and explain in detail. I actually came of my AD because I've been on it for over eight years and it wasn't effective anymore, they want to put me on something else but I really don't want to go through all the side effects again. There are actually some great resources on here, they're really helpful. Thanks again for your help!

[Paul]

Hi thehiss.

Please allow me to add my welcome as well.

Shelley anne has provided awesome ideas. I've found writing thoughts and feelings down to be helpful, especially if I am visiting my Psych, sometimes I'll forget because of the foggy depression.

I had a period where I had to "wash out" of one anti depressant and "taper on" to another. The experience was difficult, but it was worth it. I think the anxiety of what I might go through was the worst. The fog rolled in when I went off the first medication, but then as I went on to the second, the worst part was the anxiety that I had felt about what the side effects might be. I think I had forgotten to remind myself that I was in such a bad place, that medication side effects were pretty minor compared to feeling how I felt. I wonder if that's the case for you.

I also found that taking a step by step approach and narrowing my outlook to hours instead of days helped. By that I mean that instead of thinking of a whole chunk of time like a few days and what I might feel and what I have to do, I shrunk it to an hour. What i may need to do in the next hour and what I did for myself in that hour. That helps me when I'm trying to struggle through the fog. I don't have to struggle, I'm just taking small steps.

The depressive fog also makes it difficult for us to know that others do understand. I've felt like a victim a lot of the time in there. Someone once said to me, you're not a victim in there, you just ARE in there for a little while. It's horrible and isolating and it feels like it's making your a victim, but if you really let your mind accept that you're in the fog for a while, it makes it much much easier.

Most of us on here understand what it's like - It's crap! We find some shelter and weather the storm and come out the other side knowing there may be other storms, not as horrible, but we just need to find some shelter and wait for it to pass, one hour at a time.

Paul

[Neil_1]

Hi there T.H.

You’ve had a couple of awesome replies from Shelley Anne and Paul and just thought I’d chip in as well.

I just wanted to touch on the part where you said about seeing other people, out there enjoying their lives, doing their own thing and feeling happy. And yes, there probably are people out there like that, I have no doubt – but my thoughts on this are, “Are they really?” Could it possibly be that they are fellow sufferers, and they just are wearing their mask – to hide their mental illness away from the public.

But also, I figure that there can’t be too much to be gained by checking out others and thinking that they have awesome lives and are enjoying themselves – it’s far better to exert our energy on ourselves. To try and put in the hard yards and doing all we can to make us feel better – doing whatever it takes to try to create a little window where we can see the sun shining through on our lives.

And also Paul’s suggestion for typing down (or writing down) things before you go for your appointment is brilliant – and that’s also something that I do. You have time on your side and so you can get things on paper, but it can also be a living document, which means, you can go away from it, then think “Ah yes, that’s something else I need to add”, and so you can go back to it and keep building on it. Terrific idea.

It’s interesting that you say that your GP doesn’t really understand. Have you thought about possibly trying to find a different one – cause a patient/GP relationship for us in our situations, is a relationship that should be a good one and one that we comfortable with and to trust them also.

Hope to hear back from you.

Neil