Hi Kimmy and warm welcome to our forums
Thank you for sharing your story. I am very sad to hear your son passed away at 25. But being able to come here and share that, shows me your not absolutely broken. My heart goes out to you. The pain and ache of having your child die before you is a difficult burden. It's not right is it. The grief that comes from this does not pass for a very long time, if ever, as I think we get better at coping/managing the pain. For you it is all very raw - only happening last year.
Anniversaries are one of the biggest triggers for my PTSD, anxiety and depression. However over the past 10 years I have reduced the severity and the length of time they hang about. Being aware I am triggered is a very helpful strategy. It means I know what is happening, that I'm not going crazy. It's okay to grieve, to be kind to myself, to reach out to love ones. Other things that help me are, is to - plan to do something special for the day, (e.g. planting a tree, or flower, making a meal for the one I loved). These days (almost forty years on) - I can now raise a glass of wine with my hubby to acknowledge my daughters existence (be it for a very short time) . Think of her with fondness and what she would have been like.
I guess, for me, not being afraid to think about her, or to talk about her has helped me reduce my PTSD, anxiety and depression. That took me about 30 years to do, before that, each Christmas period was very unpleasant, stressful, and depressive time that lasted all December and January.
These are just some of my thoughts about how I've managed my grief, anxiety, depression and PTSD. We're a friendly bunch here and if you are up to it or if you want to - browse our forums. One in particular you might find useful is our PEOPLE LIKE ME/Grief and Loss forum.
Kind regards
PamelaR
