My problems

[bob01]

its been about (almost) a week since my last post. In this time i have found myself flat and uninterested in what is happening around me. Over this time I have come to realise that I don't have much of a need or want for any personal relationship and that I lead a boring life. Im unsure about talking to people because of this and also because I dont enjoy/ dont know how to, verbally express how I feel.

suggestions would be appreciated

thanks

[white knight]

Hi Bob,

I'm glad you have felt the desire to repost again. We usually get people that post once and stop doing so, with posting again you get a mixture of answers and you can cherry pick them.

I'm opposite to you, Since joining the Air Force at 17yo in 1973 then a warder for a few years, due to my mania I swapped employment often and went interstate too - such was the seeking of variety of life I wanted. Now, at 65yo I'm wanting the opposite- settle down and occasionally caravan for holidays.

The big issue with a "boring life" is where it can lead to. Depression is best avoided than cured. So this reminds me of my days in the Air Force when driving from Melbourne to Adelaide. I picked up a hitchhiker. Turned out he had left his wife and child as she'd had an affair with his mate. He was suicidal and as I was only 20yo I struggled to cope with the situation.

By the time we got to Adelaide I'd convinced him to find work on a cattle station. He rang me 6 months later to tell m that he'd been working as a cook at a cattle station in Central Australia. Furthermore he had a new partner. He had arranged visiting dates with his young son. Everything was working out for him.

So, with my colourful life I'm convinced that a change is indeed like a holiday. Depending on your age and profession there is many opportunities out there to change your lifestyle for the better.

If not interested in interstate travel then you are sort of bound by the traditional forms of activities to relieve the bordom- hobbies, sports and interests. Once you find one (eg I used to build and fly model airplanes) then your focus is on the passion and that is mentally healthy. But passions come naturally, you cant create one easily.

Repost anytime. Nice to chat with you.

TonyWK

[james1]

Hello bob01,

I haven't seen you around before but it's nice to meet you on this thread.

It's challenging when we feel like something is wrong but we don't know how to communicate it with others, and perhaps a part of us don't want to communicate it anyway. It sounds like you feel like you don't need a relationship and have a level of disinterest in life around you, but you also want to be able to communicate this with people to see if that can change. Is that right?

TonyWK made a good point about a boring life potentially leading to depression. I certainly know from personal experience that I felt quite apathetic about life and lethargic before I really felt very depressed, so it is a warning sign for me. But equally, some people just prefer a quiet/boring life, and feel pressured to live a more busy life.

Still, I understand that you want a way to be able to be more open with people and to verbally express how you feel. I think it's really hard to do that, but you're already making some good progress by coming here to tell us the problems you are having in this regard.

Have you ever spoken to your GP, if you have a GP you trust? Or are there any other friends or family members you feel you could eventually speak to, perhaps in a bit of a low key setting or way?

James

[Guest_4643]

Hi bob01, welcome back.

Do you have anything you like doing, any hobbies or anything? No pressure to find one, just a friendly question since I'm not sure what else to reply here.

I'm here for you regardless though.

[Jules292]

Hey Bob,

After the year we’ve all had, feeling uninspired and uninterested in activities of daily life is totally understandable. The only advice I could give is to keep it simple. There are many organisations that promote helping others in need, one example is collecting bottle tops to be made into prosthetic limbs for children. I found this through a neighbour who works at a Melbourne hospital and she put the flyer in my letterbox. Community magazines sometimes advertise similar things or you could ring around and find something similar.
This is just a suggestion to help you move on and maybe even meet likeminded people as well, which could lead you on an unexpected journey?
Sometimes you have make the first step.

jules x

[geoff]

Hello Bob, in a week much can happen and secondly, time seems to be flying away, but when we don't have much of a need or want for any personal relationship and that I lead a boring life isn't necessarily your fault, because from what you've told us, is there a reason why this has happened, an occasion or from a situation you weren't comfortable with or perhaps a friend who may have let you done, any of these can force you to feel this way.

Not being able to express yourself is not an uncommon problem when faced within a difficult situation you certainly were not expecting and will close up any thoughts or discussions on the topic you had originally wanted to talk about.

Pleased you've come to the site.

Geoff.