My life at the moment

[Stressed Guy]

I didn't know if I should post again on beyond blue but here goes.

I'm just going to start off by saying I'm under a lot of stress at the moment. This year feels like a nightmare as we've been trying to move and we've had so many obstacles in our way.

On top of that I'm trying to study a diploma of travel and tourism online. I'm almost halfway through and I'm supposed to film a few role-play for my current unit. I can't do that as the only person who can help is my dae and he works all the time. I don't even care about the course anymore as it feels like I'm mentally and emotionally fatigued most of the time anyway. Plus I'm not passionate about what I'm studying. And courses are terrible online. I can't say I'm the most social person but going to class is a million times better.

I also feel like there's a lot of pressure for me to finish this diploma by March next year which is the same time I'm supposed to start uni at the Gold Coast. If we hopefully get there. I currently live in Sydney.

I also feel really depressed about a few other things. I feel really bad that my dad works all the time and that I haven't been able to help out my parents more financially. I'm also frustrated that I don't really talk to my brothers much.

Also I've never been on a date with a woman, I have no friends, I've never had a job and have never finished a diploma course. All in all I just feel bad about where I am in life.

Recently I've been writing a lot more which makes me happy. I've also been trying to exercise a bit more. Although I've stopped going to tennis lessons altogether.

I almost got injured the last time I played went I don't want to talk to anybody there anymore since I'll be moving in the next few months. Although we've been talking about the Gold Coast for 3 years but there's been obstacles in the way.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I feel stuck in life at the moment and I don't know what to do about it. I keep thinking maybe I deserve not to be happy. Everything I want seems like a pipe dream. I think about run away everyday and going anywhere else. If I didn't care about helping my parents then I would probably pack my bags and leave.

I'm sorry for even posting this but I don't know who to talk to. Thanks for reading it.

John

[mocha delight]

Hi john I hear you about a stressful year only it’s been a stressful almost 2 years for me as I started to be tested for coeliac disease not last December but close to the end of the one the year before, had a gastroenterologist who totally mishandled my case, who put me through a lot of stress, talked down to me, got diagnosed with coeliac disease end of June last year, the gastroenterologist is now not my gastroenterologist after everything, 2 weeks later I found out I have GORD (the autoimmune disease side of acid reflux) which my ex gastroenterologist never told me about but found out 2 weeks after my diagnosis, had 3 cousins try to take their life but did not succeed thank goodness and then nearly 3 weeks ago another family member tried to take their life but didn’t succeed either on top of COVID-19 this year so yes I can understand your stressful year just from this year alone. I can understand also having never dated as I’ve never dated a man as no one has ever been interested in me and I barely have any friends. So if you ever need to chat just please know I’m here for you ok.

[Stressed Guy]

Hi Mocha delight,

I just want to start off by saying thanks for replying to my post. Sorry it's taken me awhile to respond to you.

I'm also sorry to hear about what you're going through at the moment. It's sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now.

After reading your post I realized my problems are nothing compared to others on these forums. I hope to talk to you more in the future if you feel up to it. Thanks again.

John

[mocha delight]

Hi John don’t worry about the late reply and yes we all think we have the worst problems/issues ect ect ect but there’s always someone worser and not trying to down play your or anyone else’s issues by any means just saying the truth. I may not be diagnosed yet with anything but I’m on antidepressants which I started on them a week before covid 19 was first mentioned an it was a bad week as on top of everything a few days before my appointment to chat with my gp about my issues my grandma passed away to. And I look forward to talking to you more as well.

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

I hated online study as well. I was originally doing in-person classes and then got shunted to online when corona struck. I was doing fine, and then the switch to online made me completely flunk. Luckily we are back to in-person classes now, where I am. Can you think of any ways you could make the online study experience more hands-on? Could you voice or video chat with a classmate?

[Stressed Guy]

Hi Mocha Delight,

Sorry about your grandma. I can definitely empathise with your situation.

I don't tell a lot of people this but I've been suffering from depression since my grandpa passed away just over a decade ago. He died really suddenly and I haven't been the same since. It felt like the best version of me died along with him, I don't know if that makes sense. I was a better person before his death, now I'm all over the place.

Now in regards to your anti depressants, are they helping your mood at all? I used to feel really numb on them, it used to block all my emotions.

Finally, I just wanted to add that I hope you're staying safe during this miserable year and sorry again for the late reply.

Hope to chat to you some more.

Kind regards,

John

[mocha delight]

Hi John yes it totally makes sense and some days my antidepressants help but others it doesn’t or not much at all. And don’t worry about it ie the late reply so don’t stress about it as I’m not and please don’t ever ok.

[Stressed Guy]

Hi Vegetarian Marshmallow,

I'm sorry to hear that you had to transfer your studies from face to face to online. What were you studying?

I also completely agree with you, online study is the worst. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

It's just that I don't know anyone studying the same course, my brothers also have their own lives and have never really helped me with anything. They're really self absorbed people, that's a whole other story that I won't get into.

In regards to the diploma, my dad ended up helping me.

To conclude I hope you're staying safe during these trying times and hope to talk to you more in the future. If you want to that is. Also, sorry for taking ages to reply to you.

Kind Regards,

John

[Stressed Guy]

Hi Mocha Delight,

You said that some days your antidepressants work while other days they don't. I was just thinking if there's any hobbies that you enjoy?

I find that a few things make me happy such as writing, exercising or just listening to music.

I just wanted to offer you some advice as it could help you with your problem.

Hope you're doing okay (All things considered)


Kind Regards,

John