My friends don’t care about me

[alexis123]

my two best friends have said that my depression and sh makes them uncomfortable and basically say i’m not fun anymore because i don’t drink alcohol and go crazy like i used to. I never tell my friends triggering or talk about my mental health around them, they said they can’t be my friend out of nowhere, i’m struggling really hard because i’ve given them nothing but love and support. I wish they loved me like i love them.

[therising]

Hi alexis123

You sound like such a beautiful conscious person who's suffering so much, so deeply. My heart goes out to you as you face so much challenge and such intense struggle.

You are conscious of the struggle and pain within depression whereas your friends are not. You are conscious of the fact life can feel deeply depressing at times, conscious of the need to speak about it and resolve issues that exist within such struggle, fully conscious of what true friendship is whereas they're not fully conscious of these things. One of the hardest things to face in life involves desperately needing a person/people to be more aware yet they turn out to be far less conscious than you hoped for. This can be so painful.

Do you have someone in your life who's very aware, who can lead you in the best direction? While not wanting to upset someone who feels for us so deeply, expressing to them the extent of our struggle is sometimes the best course. Finding someone we can trust to help us constructively manage what's deeply depressing means we're not having to face it and feel it alone. Finding someone who can relate means finding the best relationship, a constructive vs a destructive one.

Throughout years in my marriage, my husband never believed in depression. Him denying it and not consciously helping me through added to my sufferance. With me being an ex drinker and him remaining a drinker, this poses another challenge. Not drinking leads me to feel the rawness of life's challenges whereas he still consumes what is numbing. To be awake, no longer semi conscious of feelings, means feeling far more intensely. 'Waking up' can mean waking up to the ability to feel life in its rawness. Understanding this ability (feeling life, our connection to it/disconnection from it and the nature of people, challenges and situations within it) is key to mastering it. It is said that we are born to feel, just as we're born to not do it alone. I'm so glad you're here ♥️

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear alexis123,

I was saddened when reading your post….sad because true friends care and love each other, through both good times and the hard times….They are the ones missing out on your kindness, love and care you show them….

It’s very hard for people to understand mh if they haven’t got it our been through it….in a way I think it scares them….and are very unsure how to act and talk to someone who has depression and s/h…which I am so very sorry your going through all that…

Do you have professional people looking after you?….if not is that something that you would consider?…

Its okay if you choose to not drink alcohol anymore….it’s your choice and I really hope your friends are not pressuring you into doing so….just to see you go “.crazy”…that is so wrong if they are….

True friends are always around, especially when you are unwell, whether physically or mentally…..by them saying they can’t be your friend anymore because your not drinking, is not what a true friend would say….

We are here for you if you feel to talk….

Sending you my kindest thoughts and my care dear alexis123..

Grandy..

[Petal22]

Hi alexis123,

Im so sorry the people who you thought where your friends treated you with such great disrespect.

You deserve to have friends who want to support you and just be there for you.

If you don’t get back what you put into a relationship with your friends then it’s time to find a new circle of friends who care about you and you will.

Im so glad that you have found us in this beautiful community of people we are here for you.

[jaz28]

Hi alexis123,

I am sorry you are experiencing this, it is not fair when you have poured your heart and soul out with love for others and you do not feel like it is reciprocated. I am sorry.

The truth is, though, that these friends were likely not real friends. Real friends stick by you through thick and thin, within reason, and accept you for who you are. It is hard for people without mental illness to understand, but I would've thought we have torn down the stigma enough these days for young people to at least be aware that it exists. You deserve so much better, and you should take this as a blessing and an opening to let people into your life you are real friends and do care. You sound like a lovely friend and I am sure anyone would be lucky to have you! We are all here for the support online, too.

Have you sought professional help from your doctor or psychologist for your depression? This might give you an outlet and someone to talk to about it all.

Please reach out again if you need,

Jaz xx 

[alexis123]

Thankyou for your kind reply, I have two other friends who are very understanding and kind about my situation, Sending you love and happiness 🙂

[alexis123]

Thankyou for your kind reply! Sending you warmth and lots of love 

[alexis123]

Thankyou for your lovely reply, sending you warmth and happiness 

[alexis123]

Thankyou for your lovely message, i’m fortunate to have a pretty understanding family, and two friends who help me a lot, sending you love and happiness aswell 

[therising]

Hi alexis123

I'm so glad you have a couple of key people in your life you can rely on. It can be such a relief at times, to have those people in our life.

I think the best people to have in our life are those who don't just raise us out of where we are but also rise with us in the process. To evolve together is a powerful thing. The kind of people who will push themselves to open their mind in service to us, in finding new ways that work, or in allowing themselves to feel a stronger connection to us through our venting (our pain, stress and frustration) means to have the kind of people in our life who will rise in consciousness and feeling/sensitivity for us. While everyone around us may be shutting us down in a number of ways, such friends are opening us up to new possibilities and new ways of feeling life.

I've found, over the years, it pays to be more sensitive. This way you can really feel the people who are raising you and the ones that are bringing you down or leaving you vibing in neutral. You develop getting a feel for the people you're meant to be around more often. 

Sending love and happiness right back atcha ❤️🙂