My father is a nark

[Mysterious987]

I was diagnosed wrongly with Schizophrenia because I made suicidal destructive choices repeatedly over a few years, around 10 years ago, and it lead me to numerous hospital omissions and to become a mal practice with health repercussions 

Based on my diagnosis my father looks at me as disabled, the way he talks to me is as if to keep things gentle and brief or else he treats me as a bipolar mania type 

He tells my mother that she's vague and vein and try's to socially dictate her choices, he can socially silence others and affect their emotions, He tells my mother now that she's turning 66 that she's superficial for wanting to look her best for as long as she can, and not only does he not care but he  expects her to let her appearance go, He brings this old generational depression element into our lives, his father was born in 1914 so that gives you a perspective of what he was going through himself when he used to get beaten as a child 

He doesn't care wither I have meaning / purpose, responsibility, independence, schedule, routine and structure in my life, and his not concerned about my financial insecurity because he treats me as rich for having centrelink DSP pension, I have no direction for the right suitable entry job's and I don't plan on studies wither University or TAFE

His sister makes fun of my mothers South American accent and treats my mum as stupid the way my Dad does too 

My mother is un employed since her 30's and she always has to keep pushing forward and forgive and forget with my Dad's crap 

[Croix]

Dear Mysterious987~

I'd like to welcome oyu here to the Forum, I hope you get some ideas from it.

Your dad sounds a most difficult person to live with, irrespective of being beaten as a child. In fact he seems to have little or no understanding of other people. Just because a person has a diagnosed illness is no reason to talk to them as anything other than ordinary adults, and should recognize a desire for independence and fulfillment as being natural and something to assist with.

Do you have any plans for the future? Things you are interested in, enjoy or simply to bring in extra cash?

Your mother's desire to look her best is natural too, and as she may have come from overseas and may have to rely upon your dad perhaps she sees her looks as all she has to offer. Do you think that might be the case?

Actually I'm wondering how you get on wiht your mother? You certainly have your dad and his sister's  difficult behaviour in common to put up with. To have an ally might be a good thing for both of you.

If you would like to come here again and keep on talking to us that would be great

Croix

[David35]

I've been on the receiving end of resentment for being on the DSP. It's just ignorance. Some people can only see things from their own perspective and your dad sounds like one of the, with all due respect.

Can you get maybe a part time casual job doing something to at least get you out of your toxic environment?

[David35]

Just another thought. What about volunteer work? If you're on centrelink dsp you shouldn't have to worry about looking for job. It may give you some social contact and respite too. It would take the pressure off having to find a direction in life for the immediate future.

I volunteered at a local wooden toy factory once I got on DSP and discovered new skills. The guys didn't judge you either. They just accept you for who you are.

[Mysterious987]

My mother is my favourite person in the world, the only person who I've ever had to talk to is my mother,              Until trying Beyond Blue, My mother has zero narcissistic qualities and only wants me to be happy, She is      over protective and loves me un conditionally, She is as lost as me as with what to do, My mother has a very similar personality like myself and we both are sensitive and see things eye to eye, She is not a superficial person, she merely gets put down for wanting to maintain her happiness through feeling and looking good because she's over 60 and my Dad thinks she's vein and should let herself go, but I don't like my Dad because his a narcissist emotionally and socially on occasion 

I don't have the conventional personality or interest in University or TAFE and I don't like the generic             entry industries wither retail, factory, hospitality, administrative assistant or office/call centre job's, my only source of income at 28 is Centrelink DSP pension

My father has zero social input or connective relationship with me, we just talk about AFL footy here and again, and it's always portray yourself as optimistic and fine because his involvement is worse then not having him involved, He has no consideration for my independence or life meaning or experience, He looks at my existential crisis and my diagnosis to see me different from ordinary people 

[Mysterious987]

I could volunteer or try to go to a disability job recruitment agency and try to land a entry position with 15 hours a week and still claim my DSP 

I am at the point to want real valid work then volunteer, but I have zero sense for anything I'm interested in or suitable for 

I hate being seen beneath a diagnosis or disability, because I know based on my past destructive behaviour        I got wrongly diagnosed with the Schizophrenia, but the majority of society perceives doctors as having flawless intelligence, Despite reading 30% of the time doctors can make the wrong diagnosis according to a early 2000's study, Doctors are mere humans with limited intelligence, and shouldn't be treated as a God with immunity from I'm perfected evaluation or wisdom

[David35]

Volunteer work can be boring, I'll admit. It's repetitive and there is an element of exploitation that I have experienced, particularly in op shops. I was lucky however, to find enjoyment in a local men's shed, which in turn sparked an interest in woodworking.

You will always receive ignorance for being on centrelink. People try to generalise other people's circumstances and unfortunately the common one is that a centrelink recipient is lazy. In my situation it couldn't have been further from the truth. I'm sure it's the same with yourself. But it sill hurts.

It's hard to know what you like doing unless you've been exposed to it. Just an idea. If you have a creative streak, you might not, what about those maker spaces? They have 3d printers, workshops, CAD,,etc. Sounds like you need a space away from home to declutter your mind. I found working with my hands did that for me. 

[Mysterious987]

It's not about being lazy, for myself I find driving a little bit challenging, and I don't plan on further education,      I also don't have a sense for which entry industries interest me or which job's are within my thresh hold, I have zero net work and experience besides when I volunteered at a Salvo's for 1 year in a job I didn't want or enjoyed, I felt so un motivated and not enthused 

There's more issues with me then just financial direction, there's issues I feel with being of the younger generations because their not religious and conservative like myself, and then there's being treated for not having a mental illness because my destructive youth idiocy got me mis represented as having a psychological psychotic illness 

I have creative interests with guitar, singing / rap, drawing & painting, but I intentionally neglected my creativity with singing and rap because during high school and for a few years following I was bullied and dealing with personalities I hated, then I never had esteem living with my father's differences

[David35]

You need to follow up those interests, preferably in an emotionally safe environment free from bullying. You have had a spark, you just need to get the flame going.

I'm on a DSP for a head injury. I'm 46, live with mum, fairly independent. I'm the antithesis of conventional lifestyle for someone my age. But one thing I learnt over the years is that I deserve to be happy. A lot of people will go out of their way to make you unhappy, because they are. They want you to conform to their ideals.

Years ago, my neighbour used to mock me for making wooden kids furniture. The best way to deal with that is to ignore the negativity, the criticism, and pursue your own interests. Now I'm selling him the stuff I make.

Trust me, listen to your own voice. If it works out, good. If it doesn't, try something else. Either way you learn something about yourself.

[Croix]

Dear Mysterious987~

I think David35 is right and following things that have interested and maybe fulfilled you in the past is a good way to go. It may not fix everything in your life but might give you an oasis from which to draw strength and perspective.

You did mention singing, and earlier religion. This what Paul McCartney had to say:

"I love to hear a choir. I love the humanity... to see the faces of real people devoting themselves to a piece of music. I like the teamwork. It makes me feel optimistic about the human race when I see them cooperating like that."

Croix