Moving back home and starting over

[AverageAusGuy]

Hi all

I have had anxiety and depression on and off my whole life. Over the past year though it has gotten progressively worse to the point where I am barely getting through each day. Thank god I have a loving and supportive wife.

It all started going downhill about a year ago. I stopped speaking to my small group of friends (I live in the city) and really isolating myself. I basically just worked, went to the gym, and spent time with my wife on weekends.

I didn't realise how important socializing was for mental health. I told myself that I didn't need anyone and kept doing my routine. Over the past year though I found myself doing less and less. Besides work, gym, and my wife I didn't really do anything. I got really good at distracting myself with YouTube, Facebook, and podcasts but on the inside I was struggling.

At the start of this year a close family member of mine passed away. I also just found out my mum has cancer. My wife and I live away from our home town so it has been difficult being away from everyone back home.

I have the shakes constantly and have lost some weight because I can barely eat due to stomach cramps. I am writing this at 2am in the morning because I struggle to sleep.

My wife and I have decided to move back to our home town to be closer to friends and family. I am nervous about finding work but am also hopeful for a better future. We have some savings and are debt free. We both have qualifications and have good work references. We will be staying with my brother and I am looking forward to spending more time with him.

Anyway thats my story. If anyone else has moved back to their hometown to start over, please let me know.

[quirkywords]

AverageAus Guy

Welcome to the forum. This is a friendly and supportive place.

You have much on your plate at the moment. Hopefully the move will help you be closer to your family and you will find work.

I did the opposite this year due to circumstances beyond my control. I moved from a very small country town affected by bushfires and moved to the city where I was born.

I am finding it different as I used to know everyone in my close community now my family and friends are all working. I do see more of my grandchild and children . It is only early days and I have other problems due to losses in the fires.

I have support of family in the city which I needed and this has been really helpful for me.

I have had friends I haven't seen for 20 years offering friendship.

I know your situation is a reverse and under different circumstances but being close to family has its advantages.

Also if you can plan ahead for your move that can help.

Feel free to keep posting.

Quirky

[alasdayr]

AverageAusGuy,

Your post definitely shows your first paragraph to be true. Withdrawal, distraction, dependence on routine, etc.. are all signs of depression.

You are going through some tough times. The added stress will likely make things worse for a while before they get better. However it's good to know you will be supported with family where you are going.

Also good that you are also in a strong financial position. Having less urgency to find work will help you in being successful in finding employment nearer home.

I urge you to find a GP and get a MHCP (mental health care plan). Having professional help to assist in this tough time will really make a positive difference.

Please keep posting here. Talking through your thoughts often helps. This community is amazingly supportive.


Alasdayr.

[AverageAusGuy]

Thanks for the support.

As I am writing this, my wife and I have 2 weeks left before we move. We plan on making the most of our time together before heading back home. We have a bunch of fun things planned while we are still here and will be treating it like a bit of a holiday.

When we get back, I plan on finding a job and focusing on my health and wellbeing. I plan on going camping with my brothers and going to BBQs with friends. Once we are settled then I will try to improve my career.

I would still like to know from anyone else who has had experience moving back to their home town?

I am nervous about falling into old routines and habits. We have grown so much since moving away. I just hope that it isn't going backwards....