Lost

[Mr nobody]

I am a lost soul. My relationship has been on the rocks for a number of years and I've just been clinging on with my finger tips which in turn reflects my life. I have no family, no friends. Yesterday I told my partner who is working overseas that I just can not do this relationship as it stands anymore. That was with the help of alcohol which seems to be my best friend. I work in a Government department which is secure but with rents like they are I would be homeless and i dislike the job anyway. The only comfort I have is my little furry dog which I will lose shortly.

I have taken the day off work today as I just can not face anyone. No one. I'm so depressed. This has been the situation since my partner went overseas to work and now after last night has consumed me like a favorite blanket or a hug just when you need it from a dear friend.

I'm not sure where I am going here. I don't know how to explain how my heart just feels so bloody empty. How do you feel when you know that you will be literally on the streets, depressed, angry and so damn frustrated. Nobody cares, nobody will even notice. My heart feels like it has bled out any semblance of care and is left with nothing.

I'm very sorry to burden anyone reading this. I suppose I just needed to get my feelings out before I can't anymore. Thank you for bothering to read and listen. 

[white knight]

Hi Mr N,  welcome to Beyond Blue forum

You dont mention medication or illness except you are depressed.  First stop is your local GP. You might be suffering a mental illness condition.  Ignoring it wont make it go away.

Rent? Sounds like you are on your own now. So can you relocate? to a cheaper area? A single flat etc. You admit your post is vague so its hard to help you. But we are here to listen and to advise if we can.

Take care Tony WK

[HA1]

Hi Mr  (sorry, but I think that everybody is somebody).

Thank you for turning to BeyondBlue and posting your story. I know just doing that can be very hard. But that you did reach out is a good sign.  You certainly are not a "burden" on anyone here - we have all reached out for help at one stage or another.

But could you please confirm my understanding of your situation:

You have broken up with your partner - was it because of the separation or you did not think the long distance relationship was working? (And you told your partner, after you had been drinking.)  I don't quite understand why you appear to think that you will be homeless - is your home owned by your partner?  A dog is always so comforting (I rely on mine to cheer me up when I need it), but I assume that you believe you will loose your furry friend because it belongs to your partner.  I also sense that you don't feel secure in your Government job - has something occurred, or is it because you have been unsettled since your partner left for overseas.

Breaking up is hard to do, regardless of who initiated it.  I have been through a few and, because I am very introverted, and suffer from mental illness, it really hit me hard.  You will pick yourself up, it may not seem like so at the moment, but you will.  The road ahead will be rocky, but rest assured, people will be concerned and will notice.  You are not alone.

Please get back to me to confirm my understanding of your situation, and then we can talk a bit more.

Please take care

K

[Smurf80]

Hi Mr Nobody,

Firstly I wanted to say sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time, however please don't feel as though you are being a burden on anyone. We are all here to help. I can fully appreciate is the way you say you feel at the moment. I have had plenty of occassions since my first encounter with depression feeling that way. Like you are locked in a dark room with noway out, but with the aid of medications and talking to a psychiatrist I was able to get to a point where I could function and be happy. You can get to this point too. Please see someone to talk through how you feel. It does help. And keep in mind we are all hear if you need us.