lost with no clues

[old-reject]

Hi people, so lost at the moment, landlord threatening eviction, no friends, no family, I have a good job but real estate agents say I don't fit their "demographic" meaning they don't want older trades people in their rentals, been giving away all my possessions online to try to make any move easier, just feel so isolated in this big city, I'm high function aspie so have always been alone, now so scared, don't know where to turn, been bullied all my life, abused as a child, I don't have any good memories, just wondering if it's worth trying anymore

didn't know where to post this so chose "depression", I wake up most mornings almost in tears, it's like life is over for me, feel like I don't fit in anywhere except work, especially since Covid my customers are very happy to see I've fixed their issues, but I get stuff all as I can't bargain, it's like one wall after another, thats the story of my life, rejected since birth I've struggled to get to my 60s, without property your no-one in this city

20 years ago I tried running an ABN, hopeless got ripped off many times, most clients just didn't pay realising I was push over even though they got what they wanted from me, went broke, got a job back in the "industry" tried to move on, but I'm getting nowhere, this govt seems not to care about those of us on the margins, it hurts to know your dispensable not wanted anywhere but work, don't get me wrong, I do love my work and I'm very good at it, just get used a lot and I'm so over it,

Any help or clues appreciated, thanks to all

[Sophie_M]

Welcome,

We are so glad to see that you've reached out here today - we understand that this can be difficult to do for the first time, so thank you for having the courage. We are so sorry to hear that you've had such a difficult journey. It sounds as though things are especially tough on you at the moment. Please know that you are not alone, and our community is here to support you. Hopefully a few of our members will pop by over the next few days to welcome you and offer some words of wisdom.

If you think it may be helpful, you can also speak with a Blue Knot Helpline childhood trauma counsellor including for support and applications around national redress - 1300 657 380 Monday - Sunday between 9am - 5pm AEST - https://www.blueknot.org.au/

Have you considered joining a support group? It might be helpful to join one to try and build a social network in your area.​​​ You can also find information on support groups is available on the Black Dog Institute site here - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/support-groups/

You may also find it useful to take a look at some of the Beyond Blue resources:

• “Life starts at 60” - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/older-people/starts-at-sixty
• “Loneliness” - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/in-focus/loneliness-the-public-health-issue-we-sh...

Thanks again for reaching out here today and joining our friendly online community. Please feel free to keep us updated about your journey here on your thread.

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum. I am hearing the sadness in your words with so many things getting you down. I am sorry you are going through this hard part. You are not alone. We are here to listen. Sophie M has posted some really great resources and support links. I wonder if you have tried to talk with any one such as a GP or a counsellor? As you are feeling really low and waking up tearful, I would recommend that you talk to a GP and explain the symptoms you are experiencing. You might try to write these down prior to attending an appointment so you have everything there and ready as it can be hard to get the words out sometimes.

When you are feeling so low, it can be hard to even think of solutions. Working with others can help to find some new ways of healing. It is normal to feel stuck when you are feeling weighed down with so much. I encourage you to get advise from a GP or contact a support line such as the Beyond Blue Support Line on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. Sometimes talking about things in a hard moment can really help.

If you feel that it helps, please keep posting here. The forum is a safe and supportive place to get support.

Sending you strength,

Nurse Jenn

[sisu100]

Hi old-reject,

Thank you for taking such a brave step in sharing this with us. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and I’m are so glad that you have reached out here. It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment, and are waking up most mornings nearly in tears. How are you feeling today?

I’m so sorry for all you've been through. Growing up can’t have been easy for you, from all the abuse, bullying and being ripped off by those around you- that is not okay and I’m truly sorry that this has happened to you. I’m sure this has led to a very isolating and distressing experience for you but I want you to know that you do not have to do this alone. I'm here for you, as well as our caring and supportive community to help you get through this. The forums are a safe and supportive space and you are always welcome here to share and talk about your feelings, or just connect with others.

It sounds like you’re great at your work and your customers really appreciate what you do for them. You come across as such a resilient, strong and brave individual. Know that you are not dispensable, you are amazing and important in your own right. To have gone through everything you have and to get to where you are is an amazing feat in itself.

You mentioned that you are having some troubling with your housing situation. I can imagine that it would be a very stressful and frustrating experience. If you’re comfortable in sharing, I was wondering how that has been going for you this week?

I’d love to see how you’re getting on, and I hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.

[mary121]

I do hope you’re finding some joy in something.its not fun just existing in this world and not belonging to anything or anyone.try smelling the roses.try a peaceful thought.all the best

[Givi]

Hey there old fella,

You certainly aren't alone there. I'm only in my 30s, but I understand a lot of what you are going through. I'm in a similar position at the moment no friends/family, but not even a job at the moment. It's certainly scary when you think about it too much, but I've come up with some plans should the "..." really hit the fan, so to speak. In your case, have you thought about moving somewhere else? If I get a bad feeling about the place I'm living in or the landlord/real estate then I look for an alternative pretty quickly. It should be easier to find accommodation if you already have a job, which you do.

Don't feel bad about getting ripped-off in business, it happens to everyone. In the business I was involved in a number of years ago we had some people who simply wouldn't pay, a few just saw it as if it was their right to take. In the end, sometimes we could reclaim the money, other times we just had to put it down as a loss. The price of doing business I guess.

I'm sure you would be a really interesting person to talk to, and not used just for work. If you ever want to talk more, just me know.

Cheers ol' Fella 🙂

[old-reject]

I don't know how to progress, it's difficult, I'm on better wage than many in more precarious employment, but because I'm old the real estate agents won't talk to me, have bad chest pain at the moment and medication just gives me headaches and causes liver pain,

So I go without treatment, last visit to a gp was years ago, total waste of time, unless you walk in on crutches you get no help at all, they just don't get mental illness, no wonder the suicide rate is so high, i realise now I've been self harming since I was a kid, no one ever picked it up, CBT and mindfulness is a load of garbage, doesn't work for deep seated issues with long history of being ignored by medical professionals who long ago lost my trust.

I've tried them all a hundred times, waste of time and money, then some weirdos try to shove spirituality down my throat, they just remind me of the men who abused me, when driving around town I look at trees for their suitability, maybe that bridge would work, then I remember, I don't have to do that, just try to push through, find a way, fix this broken thing,

Now we have no hot water and the roof leaks during rain, the landlord just wants to put the rent up or evict us, no discussion of repairs, bludger owns 20 properties, call himself a christian, reminds me of our politicians and then I loose all hope, the system is only geared to help the rich and prosperous, forget the little people who build this country, my customers scream at me to fix their services but won't let me use their bathroom, saying go down to Macdonalds knowing they're closed except for drive through, people are just so self centred and I'm so over it, all i see is greed and injustice in the world,

I feel so sad for the young people growing up in this world of greed, I'm old, life has been hard but soon I will be gone, I won't have to endure much more of this pain, but the young people of today have a lifetime of it to live through, hopelessly ripped of by big business and government authorities, everything is wrong way up, the sadists have the upper hand and people still vote for them at every election, only thing that matters is the house price rising in value, forget your fellow human beings,

I don't know what to do next,

[Sophie_M]

Hey Old-reject, thanks for reaching out again on the Beyond Blue forums. We're so sorry to hear what's been going on with you lately. It sounds like a lot has happened and we can understand why you would be feeling so hurt and lost. 

We can imagine having the possibility of an eviction looming over you would be so stressful. It might be helpful for you to read through the following webpage. It has some useful information on the resources available to you during this time as well as what steps to take if you are in financial difficulty due to the pandemic: https://ndh.org.au/debt-problems/housing/covid-19-changes-rent/ 

We're sorry to hear your GP wasn't very helpful in the past. Can we ask if you are receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

Many in our community have experienced similar feelings and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.

[old-reject]

Landlords don't seem to care about laws, they can evict whenever they feel like it with a "No reason" clause in my state, we have never missed any rent, we have done repairs at our own expense, all to no avail,

now they are saying I can't park my ute on the property, wtaf ?

I'm no longer allowed to pursue my trade, ?

They knew we were tradesmen when we moved in, steady incomes, no kids, no pets etc etc,

We're old blokes, we are quiet and don't make any trouble, but because we wear hi-vis suddenly they want us out,, what kind of country has Australia become, I'm lost for words, seems like a waste talking to government or support groups, they can't provide housing, it's like genocide in the suburbs, and the politicians think it's fine,, same as the bush fires, no help available, just fend for yourself, i've tried all the help lines, won't waste my breath on them again, seems to be no law but that of the holy dollar, sad isn't it, what we have become, this country is lost

[sisu100]

Hi old-reject,

It’s great to hear back from you. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had such a negative and disappointing experience with receiving medical and psychological support. It takes a lot to go and seek professional help, and I can see you’ve tried so many different professionals and treatments but not one of them has been of use to you. I can imagine how upsetting this must have been, and I can understand why you’ve lost your trust in medical professionals. Unfortunately there are some professionals who are not good at their jobs, but there are some great and skilled ones out there- although it can be a difficult process to find one that clicks with you and has the right approach for you. It’s completely understandable that you don’t want to use the helplines, but if you do ever want to give them another go, please know that it is available for you whenever you need.

You mentioned that you’re experiencing bad chest pain- how are you feeling today? Is this something new or is this something you’ve experienced before?

How incredibly unfair and frustrating the housing situation must be for you. From what I’m hearing, you sound like ideal tenants- quiet, don’t cause trouble and have never missed rent. The decision to evict you sounds very sudden and unexpected considering that you being tradesmen is not new information. Have you talked about the situation with your other housemates?

Dealing with your rent situation, chest pains and inconsiderate customers at work can all add up and take a toll on your wellbeing. I do hope that you are taking care of yourself during this difficult time. What type of things do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I get the sense that you’ve become used to dealing with problems head on by yourself. Please do know that you don’t have to go through all this alone, we are here to help and support you. Feel free to update us on how you’re going if you feel up to it.