losing everyone

[kenz1222]

it feels like every person i love ends up leaving. ive lost almost every good friend i have and now im losing the boy ive fallen in love with because my other friend is falling for him too. no one understands how attached to people i get, i hide it well, and i don't know if i can handle losing him. he's the one person who makes me happy, since meeting him ive had people tell me that i seem happy again. we started getting really close but now i have to end it out of respect for my other friend and hes already giving such mixed signals towards me. even if i dont end it she'll just come in and i can't stand to watch him love her. i know it sounds stupid, im only young and he's just some guy but he's the only thing that makes me happy anymore. everytime he stops talking to me or acts uninterested it genuinely hurts but when he loves me i feel alive again. I'm so scared of what might happen if i stop talking to him. last time this happened it took me a year to get better again and i don't want to waste another part of my life. im confused. if i lose him i lose all of my other friends except one and she treats me horrible. idk what to do anymore 😞

[geoff]

Hello Kenz, and welcome to the site.

Losing someone you love to your friend who has an eye on him, which he is beginning to take notice of, is very distressing for you because it makes you feel tense and don't want to participate with what he wants to do.

If this does happen then the other person will find an open door and take advantage of the situation, so are you able to suggest you do things well away from this other 'friend', then you can have a talk with him and tell him how much you love him, but in some regard, tell him this other person is stopping you from doing many times together.

Don't forget that an instant attraction may not turn out to be what they were expecting, but going out with you, then both of you are beginning to relate with each other in a comfortable way.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Petal22]

Hi kenz12222,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I don’t think that you have to loose your relationship with your boyfriend because your friend likes him too.

He s your boyfriend your friend should respect your relationship and shouldn’t need you to brake up with him.

What makes you think he’ll like her over you?

Hes with you for a reason.

Why does this friend treat you horrible? Or would treat you horrible? A real friend wouldn’t do this to you.

Look out for yourself………. Do what makes you happy………..

Don’t do things to make others happy.

[Sophia16]

Hi Kenz,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for being open here. It sounds like you are conflicted as to what to do. You seem like a really great friend and person.

Think of the positives and negatives of leaving your boyfriend. Have you communicated with him as to how you feel about everything? Especially if it is because of your friend?

Is she really your friend if she is making you feel bad about yourself? Is eh worth breaking up with someone who makes you happy? Is she even your true friend?

Stay safe and I am always here to chat.

[LC80]

Hello Kenz, I have some idea of the anguish you are feeling. Loss of family has been a constant part of my 65 years of life, and my first wife took off with a good friend of mine at the time. I have lived through the loss of my Grandparents when I was a boy and then a teenager, my younger brother when I was 19 years old, and my Dad just a few years later. I am heartily sick of the loss, however if we dwell on that we can not move forward and have a good life. I remarried just over 33 years ago to someone who has spent more time in hospitals keeping me above water when my physical health has been less than good. She is my world, and there is someone for you.