Lonely single mummy

[Hopefully_me]

Im a single mother and i am extremely lonely. I try my hardest to be a good parent but I do spend most of my time in bed. I cry all the time and think horrible thoughts and tell myself all the time how pathetic and disgusting I am and that no one will ever love me. Ive always had terrible anxiety but my depression is getting worse. My daughter is sick of me crying. I don't want to be here anymore.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Hopefully me,

I think it’s obvious that you’re struggling very much. You sound very down on yourself, drained and overwhelmed.

I think loneliness can be horrendous, and it’s so painful when you don’t like yourself. Self loathing can be very rough...I’m feeling your sadness...

I’m not a parent myself, but I have a lot of admiration for single parents. I realise it’s not an easy job. You have to do it all, so to speak, and there often isn’t a great amount of support either...it’s tough...

I think you’re very courageous to reach out here, and I truly believe that sometimes sparse words speaks volumes...

I must admit that I’m worried about you, especially your last line. Can I please ask if you’re safe?

If you’re feeling unsafe, I want to urge you to call a helpline like Lifeline on 13 11 14 or BeyondBlue on 1300 22 4636.

Also, of course you’re welcome to continue writing here as well for support. It would be great to hear from you again when you’re feeling up to it...

I know you feel alone, but here on the forums, you don’t have to be. There are many people reading along and caring, including other single parents...

Kind and warm thoughts,

Pepper

[baet123]

Hey Hopefully me,

Sorry to hear that your struggling at present. I am not a parent myself but I can relate to your loneliness and the pain and anguish that is causing you.

I have worked with many single parents and being a single parents is absolutely a challenge and by no means an easy job as pepper mentioned above. I can tell that you have been through a lot. You are extremely strong, brave and resilient and these are amazing traits you possess.

May I ask if you have sought professional help to address some of your concerns and issues you are having? There are so many support services in place that you may wish to consider during these hard times. Please phone Lifeline on 13 11 14 or BeyondBlue on 1300 22 4636. They would love to hear from you.

You may feel that helpless and in an unbearable amount of pain at the moment but it does get better and it will get better.

When you feel up to it, please check out the following organisations:

- Singlemum

- Mothers moving forward

- Single mother forum

You are not alone. Better days and times are ahead.

Nick.

[Miyamoto]

Hey Hopefully Me,

Sorry you haven't been well. I'm often in the same boat myself. I'm not a parent, but I often get really lonely and unmotivated.

As others mentioned, I really urge you to seek medical help through your doctor, and contact the support services mentioned by others if you're feeling unsafe. I know it can be difficult to take this step, but it's a great help once you reach out.

In the short term, one thing that I find helps me is to force myself to go out: go for a walk, go to a cafe and read for a while, or something similar for a change of environment. I find just by doing that I get a little confidence back.

Please be safe and I hope things get better for you!

[Arrceeess]

Hi Hopefully Me.

I just want to firstly say that the other replies are great and I encourage everyone to contact Lifeline is needed.

But sometimes you just need to hear you aren't alone. I'm also a single mum and the realisation that your child is aware of how u happy you are within yourself just adds to the cycle - it makes you feel like a not good enough parent and that results in feeling worse.

I want to say, I get it. Without giving you my story because this isn't about me and I don't want to take away from how you are feeling. But I know your reality because I live it every day.

We love our children with everything we have. And my son is the one thing stopping me from going anywhere because I could never do that to him. So in turn, I suffer inside of myself daily.

I understand and you are not alone.

[Belle32]

Hi lovely lady,

im so sorry you’re going through a tough time. I struggle with loneliness every day too. A couple of things I find helps:

- make plans with friends and family, even if you don’t feel like it, even if it’s once a week.

- keep a diary and share your thoughts with it.

- try to do something active several times a week like going to the gym. I find this gives me a sense of achievement and self esteem

- write some positive statements about yourself and put it on your fridge. Read them out loud every day.

- join a meet up group

please know that you are special and unique and enough.

you sound so amazing and courageous and gutsy doing this by yourself.

[Deeeeeee]

Ahh my darling girl, u remind myself of years ago... I know that it's hard made me even sadder that I couldn't pull my shit together for my 2 young sons... U take me right back to that time, I lost my mum at 5 an my dad at 6...an then found that my sister who had raised me since mum had died was in fact my mum... I lost it when I found out.. After doing a social work degree... Go figure hey! 😬We all have a story an hardships an yes my heart goes out to u... U r not alone because I am here and if u need just reply, focus on your love for daughter... She will keep you strong, ur amazing an I am here for u gorgeous girl xx