Just so alone and isolated

[Lalalalola]

So I am 35, have 2 kids with special needs (asd/adhd & adhd/odd) and my partner was just diagnosed with autism(explains so much!) , I have no support network, my friends don’t ever bother with me, will happily ignore me for weeks, I feel like I am drowning and no one notices or cares. My partner doesn’t feel anything when others show emotions so I can’t even count on him either. I dunno what to do anymore 

My partner is a truck driver so he is gone all week and when he’s home on the weekends he mostly sleeps. He’s struggling with ptsd and severe depression too which is scary for me, as how bad it is. I have no one to talk to and if I try I get ignored. But my anxiety prevents me from speaking up to my so called friends about how they act like I don’t exist.

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you are going through this, that must be hard for you. It is good in a way that your husband has been diagnosed so that now you can understand why he acts the way he does. I am sorry you feel that your friends are ignoring you - do you have any family you can talk to?

Have you considered seeing a psychologist about all of this? They will be able to help you work through this.

Jaz xx

[Lalalalola]

It does help a little bit knowing there’s a reason for the way he is. But doesn’t make it any easier to deal with how he acts. Not sure how much they can help him at his age, early intervention would have been ideal.

I dont have any family I can count on, they are part of my problem. 
I am starting studying tomorrow and I am feeling so overwhelmed with it already, feel like I am gonna fail before even starting from reading the assignments and course guide. Just so overwhelmed with everything. I have way too much anxiety to go talk to a stranger and see a psychologist, I was referred to one about 15 years ago and I couldn’t go. I was on medication but it didn’t do anything, guess medication can’t do anything if your life is shit and not getting any better

[jaz28]

Hi there,

First of all, that is all valid to feel. Studying can be overwhelming at the best of times. Seeing a stranger is definitely overwhelming, but you are not expected to pour out your heart and soul in the first session. So you could try one session and see how it goes?

They are trained and it is their job to help you, they cannot and will not judge you - think about all the patients they see every day and the problems they must have. It is their job to listen and work with you to improve your thoughts. I wouldn't think of it as "talking to a stranger" but as "helping yourself feel better". How else can you do it? Have you been able to do it alone? What are the other solutions you have considered? These are important to ask yourself if you wish to get better, are there any things that make you feel happy? Do more of these. Medication can only help so much.

A psychologist is a possible solution and it really helped me. They will become a professional to you, not a stranger. Isn't everyone a stranger when we meet them? Then they become a colleague etc etc. You have a lot going on and you are so strong to be here. You will get better one day, it just takes time. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

Jaz xx

[Beth_123]

Dear Lalalalola,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so alone and isolated. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with two kids with special needs and a partner who is struggling with PTSD and severe depression.

It is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed and unsupported right now. However, please know that there are resources and support available to help you cope with these challenges.

One thing you might consider is reaching out to support groups for parents of children with special needs or spouses of individuals with PTSD and depression. These groups can provide you with a community of people who understand what you are going through and can offer support and advice.

You might also consider speaking to a therapist or mental health professional to help you manage your anxiety and feelings of isolation. They can provide you with coping strategies and support to help you through this difficult time.

Additionally, it is important to communicate your needs and feelings to your partner and friends. Let them know how you are feeling and what you need from them to feel supported. It can be challenging to speak up, but it is important to advocate for yourself and your mental health.

Remember, you are not alone in this. There are people and resources available to support you through these challenges. Take care.

[Lalalalola]

My partner texted me on Thursday saying he’s done and is moving out. He’s sick of fighting all the time. He’s threatened this before. But it was different this time. He got home around 6pm tonight and told me he had made arrangements on where he is going to stay, he can’t mentally be here anymore, with the fighting and the kids. I am so hurt and upset, we do not fight constantly but he has it in his head that we do. He said his psychologist told him if it’s too much, to leave. But the thing is- she has his version of events not mine. With his mental health being so bad, I get upset when he doesn’t come home when he is expected, I think the worse. So I tell him he needs to communicate with me, a simple text message will suffice. He has his phone on do not disturb all the time so I can never get ahold of him, I tell him we need to communicate and he feels like it’s me attacking him. I just don’t know what to do, he said he will give it a week, because I completely broke down, but if things aren’t better then he is gone, he has a place sorted out already, he is there now, he said he would stay there tonight so I can “think about it” I think he expects me to walk on eggshells, be seen but not heard and never voice my opinion about something he’s doing wrong. I think the straw that broke the camels back was, I am studying and will be finished next year, and I told him when I am working I’ll need him to help out with the kids too, he did not like that at all, and lost it, saying he would never take days off from his work. Despite me supporting and helping him achieve his dream job for the last 10 years, and staying home and raising the kids while he is an interstate truck driver, but cannot accept taking a single day off if I have a work function on or something. I don’t know if this has come from his mental health, his autism, or him just being a jerk. I told him I am willing to make changes and work on things but I think he is giving me a week to act like he tried when he hasn’t ever tried. I am just completely broken and destroyed right now. How can someone throw away 14 years and 2 kids, over nothing.