Just lost and confused

[NeverID]

Hi, not sure how to start.  Ive finally decided to make a profile and post something after a couple of weeks of just reading.

I'm 19 and just finished my first semester at uni, working part time aswell. I thought that once exams were over i'd be able to relax but i cant. 

Im panicking about results becuase i didnt do aswell as i'd hoped and cant afford to pay to redo my papers aswell as work demanding i work more shifts and it feels like this pressure from every direction is just crushing me. 

I moved cities to start fresh at uni to escape these feelings but theyre only getting worse, ive had a really hard time making friends and ive fallen out of contact with those i had. I feel like ive backed myself into a corner and eventually im just going to break. Every time i come to a fork in the road it feels like i choose wrong, I cant talk to my family, they'll only worry and want me to come home. 

It feels like im just a facade (i think thats the term i want) im just one ball of stress and anxiety who keeps up appearances everywhere i go. I have a different personality for every situation and now that ive finally got some time to myself i dont know who i am anymore. I dont seem to enjoy anything, its like ive kept up these appearances for so long that im just no one anymore. Dont even know what to do with the time now that ive finally got some to spare. 

Think i just wanted to get some of that off my chest, seems like ive got no one to talk to but myself nowadays. 

[Struggler]

Hi NeverID

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Firstly I'd like to point out that it is not easy to make friends at uni.  It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.  For many, uni is a lonely and cold place.  Unless you already have a group of friends from school and start the same course and same time, then making friends is in uni is quite an effort but not impossible.  

Ideally, you want to connect with those who are doing the same topics or units as you.  This way you have something in common at least.    

There are many students who sit alone during lectures or tutorials with no friends.  If you look around next time, you'll notice.  Tutorials are a good way to connect with colleagues.  Next time at tutorial, try sit next to someone (preferably same gender as you) who seems to have no friends.  First just say hello.   Unlike lecture, at tutorial, there is plenty of opportunity to start a conversation with your neighbour.   For example, you can ask her opinion on how to tackle the problem.  You can offer your own solution as well.  Or you can both get the attention of the tutor to explain the problem.  At the end of the tutorial, you can start small talk.  Ask her what other topics she studies etc.  You also tell her your topics.  Regardless, you already have one thing in common.  You are doing the same topic and that's why you are in the same room.  You might also like to suggest a study group and invite other lonely souls to join in.  I bet your last dollar, lonely people will only be too pleased to belong to a study group.  Make a time and date to meet in the library or an empty tutorial room.  

This is the logical way of making friends in uni, you all share a common goal.  Then during semester break you can hang out or even do revision together.  Try involve as many lonely souls as you can to broaden your selection of close friends.  Another way to making friends is to join clubs in the uni and you already know that.  This is not as effective as study groups.  In the study group, you all have the same aim, to pass exams whereas clubs are just social.  Clubs have their place in uni though.

Please write back and tell us how you get along and good luck.

Struggler

[Struggler]

Hi NeverID again

If you haven't already done so, I suggest you talk to a counsellor in uni as well.   It's free as you know.  At least in my days, it was.  Failing that you can also see a GP who might decide that you need a referral to a psychologist.  Beyond Blue has a list of GP on top of the page.  

You are too young to live in misery everyday.  Please take some action and take care.

Struggler

[NeverID]

Thanks for the response Struggler, 

I'm hoping that the acquaintances i have at uni will become friends after a while, i suppose time will tell. 

I'm a little hesitant about going to the uni counselling services, because they involve group therapy, not sure how i would go being exposed in a group like that, as ive mentioned i don't handle pressure well at all. But i also cant afford my own therapy, so i might try just the one on ones with the councilor and see if they help to begin with. 

I'll have to wait till next semester though so thats not till august. Might be a long month ahead of me..

[Struggler]

Group therapy? Support services in uni have changed that much!  In my days, it was one on one.  I would never open up to a group of strangers, how uncomfortable and embarrassing! 

Can you use your student card for GP bulk billing?  Some posters here said GP can refer patients to psyche for the first 10 sessions free.  Worth asking.  

Have you thought about contacting some of your acquaintance to have a coffee during the uni break?  Just a thought.

Struggler

[sportsfan]

Only if they bulk bill

[Struggler]

Hi Sportsfan

I just wonder how to find a doctor that bulk bills.  Maybe just ring up different surgeries and ask?  What about the list of GPs here on this site?  Beyond Blue surely knows?

Struggler