I haven't been on the site for a while. I've been working on myself and trying to be better, but the last couple of days I've gone backwards.
there was about a week where I can say I was genuinely happy, I was blissfully unaware of depression or anxiety. I was eating and sleeping well, I was interested in things and people. But all it took was one conversation for these feelings to begin to come back. Gradually my feelings towards myself have gotten worse again and now I'm starting to feel these anxious feelings returning too. It's been happening slowing and I've been trying to curb it.
Lately I've been becoming more and more critical of my appearance. I'm also worrying more and more about my health. I tell myself I'm going to do things to make my lifestyle more healthy, but I can't force myself to actually do them.
I feel like there is an answer somewhere to how to be happy with myself. Other people seem to be happy. Other people seem to be able to accept aging or the changes in life. i feel like I'm peddling the wheels but I'm not getting anywhere.
